Tossing Pennies in a Wishing Well
by theresatheresa20
Summary: "What's it say?" "We have to wait Noah, it isn't like a magic eightball." Rachel and Puck had been trying, hoping that one day their luck would change.
1. Chapter 1

Glee and it's characters are not mine.

I decided to finally write a lighter fic, so I hope you all enjoy my first Puckleberry story. Read and review, I appreciate it!

* * *

"What's it say?," Puck shouted through the door. Rachel had been in there for five minutes now, making him wonder what the hell she was doing.

"Stop barking at me!," she called back, "You're making me nervous!"

"Jesus Rachel just open up and let me in!"

"I'm not going to let you watch me use the restroom Noah, that's awkward!" Puck sighed, running his hands down his face.

"Nothing I haven't seen before!" He heard her grumble and he laughed, knowing that deep down she wasn't even the slightest bit mad. He waited another minute than finally she threw the door open.

"About damn time!," he exclaimed walking in, "What's it say?"

"We have to wait Noah, it isn't like an eight ball." Puck rolled his eyes, throwing a cotton swab at her and sitting down on the edge of the tub.

"I feel it this time," he said excitedly, "I think this is finally it." Rachel turned to her husband and smiled, watching him anxiously tap his foot and pat his knee. He looked like a small child waiting for Santa the night before Christmas, and she couldn't help but laugh.

"What?," he muttered when he noticed her giggling.

"Nothing, never mind.," she replied, hopping up on the counter by the sink.

"How much longer?," he asked impatiently. Rachel glanced down at her watch then back to him.

"Three more minutes ok? Do you think you can hold on till then?"

"Yeah yeah," he said casually. He continued tapping his foot and fidgeting around, annoying Rachel with the noise of his heavy boot against the tile.

"Honey, I love you, but if you make that noise again I'll shove that shoe someplace where it wont ever tap again, ok?"

"I love when you get rough with me," he smirked as he slid down the edge of the tub towards her, "we do have time to spare."

"Oh Noah, you and I know you don't need a whole two minutes.," she joked sarcastically. In an instant he was up, wrapping one arm around his wife's waist while the other began tickling her all over.

"Noah, stop!," she laughed, trying her best to fend him away.

"Nope, not until you apologize.," he growled in her ear, sliding his hands from her neck to her stomach.

"Noah, seriously!," she squealed, tears forming from laughing so hard, "I can't even breathe!" He had just slid his hand under her leg when the buzzer on the timer rang loudly. They both jumped, caught off guard by the loud ringing. Puck grabbed the timer and turned it off while Rachel pulled the pregnancy test off of the clothes hamper. They exchanged a look of fear and excitement as she flipped it over.

"Ok," she whispered growing scared, "here goes."


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for reading and reviewing, I sincerely appreciate any feedback you all have, and I hope you enjoy the second chapter!

* * *

"Damn it.," Puck muttered under his breath. A bright blue line had appeared on the test, dashing their hopes that Rachel was pregnant. She forced a small smile on her face and shrugged lightly.

"Maybe next month.," she said softly as she threw it in the trash can. The two stood silent, Puck crossing his arms and Rachel tapping her nails lightly on the counter.

"Sorry.," Rachel mumbled finally, causing Puck to jerk his head up.

"Sorry?," he asked confused, "Babe this isn't your fault or anything. We're both probably spending so much time stressing about it that we're freaking each other out." He walked over to her and wrapped her in a hug.

"Don't worry about it, its gonna happen soon." He placed a small kiss on her forehead then leaned down to her ear.

"We can start practicing now if you wanna.," he said slyly, flashing Rachel a devilish grin. She playfully smacked him, turning to walk away.

"I can't, I have clothes to finish and dinner to make-" She was quickly cut off as Puck startled her, whisking her up and off the floor, carrying her to the bedroom.

"Puck!," she laughed trying to escape, "what are you doing?"

"You.," he smirked as he placed her on the bed and kicked the door closed.

* * *

"Ok, the article says the time for you to get pregnant is during ovulation." Puck had been reading from one of Rachel's many baby magazines, completely fascinated by everything that happened during pregnancy. She had been folding their laundry beside him and laughing, his reactions to her body's system hilarious.

"It says here that the optimum time during ovulation is about two weeks before you…ya know, have your uh, girly time.," Puck said grimacing. Rachel furrowed her brow, amazed at how someone so mature could revert to such a child at the thought of a women's body.

"Menstruate?," Rachel asked just to bug him. He scrunched his face, shooing her with his hand and continuing to read.

"It says that during this time the egg is released and stays in the uterus for about twelve hours before it degenerates." He looked up at Rachel and laughed.

"They make it sound like some Mission Impossible task.," he chuckled.

"Well apparently it is for me.," she mumbled. Puck looked over at her, noticing the gloomy look on her face. He knew how exhausted and sad she was from the whole ordeal, and he wished he could change things for her.

"Hey, don't go blaming yourself ok? You and I are in this together.," he said sternly, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

"Besides, where would Ethan Hunt be without his leading lady?"

"Uh, don't all his girlfriends die in those movies?"

"Babe, it's a metaphor.," he answered her, picking up a pair of her pajama shorts and tossing them at her.

"Hey!," she yelled, grabbing the closest item to her and chunking it his way.

"Oh yeah," Puck said seductively, unfolding her weapon to reveal that it was a pair of Rachel's panties, "How come I don't ever see these on you?" Rachel felt her cheeks turn red, grabbing them quickly from his hands and shoving them in the basket.

"Maybe because your always too busy pulling them off to notice!" Puck continued to smirk at her, enjoying the fact that even after three years of marriage he could still make her blush.

"I don't ever hear you complaining.," he said scooting closer to her on the couch, "In fact you do a lot more-" Rachel stuffed one of his socks in his mouth, hushing him up instantly.

"Anyways," she smiled sweetly, "if that article is right then that means I should be ovulating at the beginning of next week. Are you going to be able to come home early?"

"Of course, I think the guys at the shop can handle one night without me. And," he continued as he flipped through the pages of the magazine, "we can try some of these out." Rachel shook her head as she saw the page was filled with different positions, each designed to increase a woman's chances of conceiving.

"You're unbelievable, you know that?," she sighed. Puck just pecked her on the cheek, ripping the page out and shoving it in his pocket.

"And that's why you love me."


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the wonderful reviews! I love hearing from you all, and I hope you continue to enjoy!

* * *

Puck was screwed. Not only was he running late for his baby date with Rachel, he was swamped at work with three different cars to work on. He already had one of the guys on his crew working the last few hours of his shift, and he felt like a bitch to ask for anymore help. He was frustrated, trying to think of a way to sort the mess out.

"Puckerman," he heard someone shout behind him. He turned to see his boss approaching, crossing his arms and frowning.

"Why you just standing there with your thumbs up your ass? Don't you see we got a shop full?"

"I know, I just…" he tried to find a way to explain the situation without sounding like a chick. He hated whining to his boss, grateful for the guy even giving him the job, and he felt like he wasn't pulling his weight by bailing.

"Well spit it out son, what's wrong with you?"

"My wife and I, we're uh, well," he stuttered, feeling awkward for sharing his sex life, "we're trying to have a baby, ok? And we're really struggling and you see today is like "Come now, one time only," no pun intended, so I need to get home as fast as I can and knock her up." Puck finished quickly, feeling more than uncomfortable. His boss remained expressionless, obviously not moved by Puck.

"Well," he said finally, "I guess you'll be here extra early then huh?" Puck felt his stomach flip as his boss nodded his head towards the exit, patting Puck gently on the shoulder before yelling at one of his employees.

"Thank you sir, I'll be here bright and early to-"

"Yeah yeah I get it, now go home and do it right son."

* * *

Life was not on Puck's side today as he stared at the line of traffic in front of him. Some asshole had decided to rear end the back of a minivan, causing a three car pile up on the highway. He groaned, resting his head on the steering wheel and cursing. Rachel would never believe him, and even if she did she would still be upset. He searched himself for his cell, dreading having to call her and inform her of the mess he was in. He pulled it out of his pocket and flipped it open, only to find it had died.

"Damn it!," he shouted, throwing the lifeless phone at the floorboard. He tried to think of what to do, then quickly grabbed a scrap piece of paper and pen, scribbling "Late 4 date, Cell dead, Please call wife." He included the number, hoping that someone out there would pull a random act of kindness and help his sorry ass out.

* * *

He pulled into the drive thirty minutes later, sprinting through the door and down the small hallway. He scrambled to the kitchen, trying to find Rachel and explain what happened. He barreled up the stairs, opening all the doors until he finally found her making up the bed in their spare bedroom.

"IM SORRY!," he screamed as he entered the room. He was panting heavily, exhausted from the his mini marathon through the house.

"Work, backed up, cars, trucks," he blurted out, running his words together, "and then on highway, accident, terrible, lots of traffic." He continued stuttering his story out as Rachel made her way around the bed.

"And my cell, dead, so-"

Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled Puck into a passionate kiss. He was more than confused, reviewing in his head how the hell he had made this happen. She finally pulled back a moment later, grinning ear to ear and laughing at Puck's surprised face.

"I must have gotten a hundred phone calls today, all from people I don't even know, telling me that my husband loved me and was trying his best to make it home to me." Rachel smiled even wider, pulling him into a hug.

"I just-" Rachel interrupted him again, lightly placing her fingertip over his lips.

"It was adorable." Puck decided to shut up and enjoy the moment, kissing Rachel again.

"I really didn't mean to be late," he whispered, "is there still time?" Rachel leaned back and flashed him a devilish look.

"Even if there isn't, I don't care.," and she pulled Puck towards their bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Hope you all enjoy! Keep reading and reviewing and let me know what ya think!

* * *

"Puckerman?"

Rachel and Puck had been sitting in the waiting room, nervously anticipating their doctor to call them back for their results. Rachel had decided they were finally going to get a real test done, tired of stupid store bought plastic always dashing her dreams. Puck nodded his head and grabbed Rachel's hand, leading them back into the office.

They sat quietly while her doctor went to get her paperwork together, Puck analyzing a model of the female reproductive system and Rachel laughing at him hysterically.

"Babe, I don't wanna alarm you, but I don't think you have a set of those.," he said pointing to the fallopian tubes. Rachel tried to control her laughter, looking at Puck's genuinely confused face.

"What? I'm serious! I've never seen anything like that on you!"

"Puck, those are inside me, they're connected to my uterus." Puck grimaced, shaking his head and turning away.

"Oh grow up," she said smacking his knee, "it's natural."

"Uh, no, that," he said pointing to the model again, "aint right. That's some serious Sigourney Weaver "Alien" shit." Rachel rolled her eyes, stifling another laugh as the doctor entered.

"Hi there Mrs. Puckerman, Mr. Puckerman, I'm Dr. Marilyn." They both stood to shake her hand, Rachel feeling excited and scared all at once. She squeezed Puck's hand hard, knowing that the next few moments could change the entire course of the rest of their lives.

"Well," she squealed, "are we new parents?" Dr. Marilyn smiled, opening up the file and running her hand down the page.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Puckerman, the test came back negative." This time it was Puck's turn to squeeze Rachel's hand, trying to offer her support and comfort.

"I-I don't understand," she stuttered, feeling hot tears in her eyes, "we've been trying for a year now. We're only twenty four, we're young and healthy, how come this won't happen for us?" Puck leaned over and wrapped his arm around her, wishing he could do anything to stop her tears. It killed him to see her hurting so badly and knowing he could do nothing to help.

"Mrs. Puckerman I am very sorry, but its not quite as easy to get someone pregnant as you think." Rachel guffawed and Puck coughed to hide his laugh.

"Honest, there's a lot that goes into the process and even the smallest things can disrupt conception.," she offered, trying to cheer her up, "But just to be safe, do either of you smoke?"

"No.," they chimed together.

"Drink?"

"No."

"Have a history of drug use?"

"Let me tell you."

"Do any kinds of cancers or diseases run in your family?"

"No!"

"Does anyone in your families have a problem with fertility?"

"Err," Puck grunted, wondering if this was the appropriate time for a trip down memory lane, "I uh, I had a baby in high school." Dr. Marilyn just stared, surprised by Puck's little tid bit of information.

Puck and Rachel never talked about it much, seeing as it wasn't their best high school memory. Quinn and Puck had decided when the baby was born that it was best to give the little girl up for adoption. He had promised Rachel that he never regretted his decision, knowing it had been best for everyone involved. Rachel had nodded and agreed with him, yet some part of her knew that deep down Noah Puckerman had wanted to be her father.

"Oh," the doctor mumbled surprised. She quickly grabbed Rachel's papers again and began looking them over once more.

"You know Mrs. Puckerman if you're truly concerned, I can run a few simple tests and give you a physical.," she offered.

"Yes," Rachel said perking up, "Yes that'd be great, thank you so much!" She hopped out of her chair, leaning down to place a small kiss on Puck's forehead.

"I'll be back.," she smiled, following behind the doctor. Puck slumped down in his seat, confused as to what the hell was going on. Was something wrong with them that they didn't know? Did his junk have some sort of "Good For One Use Only" system? He rested his head in his hand, growing more and more nervous about Rachel and her test results. He prayed, to who he didn't know, that she would be alright and that nothing serious would stop them from having their baby.


	5. Chapter 5

Keep reading and reviewing! Hope you all enjoy!

* * *

"Was that the phone?" Rachel called.

"No babe, just the T.V. Again.," Puck answered.

Rachel had been like this for a week, frantically running around the house and jumping every time she heard a noise. They had yet to hear back from Dr. Marilyn, and it had been driving them both a little crazy. She had called the doctors everyday, checking to see if her results were in, and would get home from work to pace by the phone. Puck knew how hard it must have been on her, their future hanging on to a few test results, but he wanted her to calm down and relax.

The commercial changed and a jingle began playing in the background. He could already hear Rachel making her way into the living room, full force ahead.

"Just another commercial hun.," Puck said as she entered. He saw her face fall, then tossed his paper to the side.

"Come here.," he said sitting up in his recliner. Rachel plopped down in his lap, resting her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, rubbing her back for comfort.

"You gotta calm down babe," he whispered to her.

"I know," she pouted, "but it's hard just waiting around. It's all I can think about."

"I understand, but you can't glare the phone into ringing.," he laughed. He heard her dismiss him and him squeezed her playfully.

"Hey!," she squealed. They soon grew silent, resting peacefully with one another.

"Noah," Rachel finally said breaking the silence, "what happens if there's something wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong, don't think like that.," he answered quickly. He felt Rachel sit up and opened his eyes.

"Noah, please be serious about this-"

"I am," he interrupted, "and there's nothing wron-"

"Just humor me.," she snapped. Puck stopped and listened, seeing that Rachel was obviously concerned.

"Let's just say that something is wrong and we-we can't…have a baby," she bit out painfully, "what, what would you want to do?" Puck contemplated her question for a moment, realizing he had never quite thought about it.

"Well, even though that's not gonna happen, I guess we'd get a baby another way."

"How so?," Rachel asked curiously.

"I don't know, adopt one or something.," he said optimistically, "I mean people do it all the time. And look at us, who wouldn't give these faces a baby?" Rachel smiled, flicking him on his nose.

"You are pretty cute.," she giggled.

"What would you want to do?," he asked.

"Well, I guess it depends on the scenario. If it turns out I cant carry then obviously we would find someone who could. If it turned out that my eggs just weren't fertile, than I would say adoption, of course." Puck nodded in agreement, thinking how odd it would be to have someone besides Rachel having their baby.

"So," Rachel spoke up interrupting his thoughts, "adoption huh? That'd be interesting. Maybe adopt a baby from another country or something."

"Well yeah, we could do that.," Puck said, "but why not adopt from here? I'm sure Lima has kids that need homes too."

"Of course, you know, just saying.," Rachel added.

"Besides, I wouldn't know what to name a kid from Kazakhstan anyways.," Puck muttered.

"Well they would obviously have a name already Noah.," Rachel mocked.

"Yeah, but obviously we'd change it.," he said casually.

"To what?," Rachel asked, curious as to what he would say.

"Doom."

"And what about a little girl?"

"…I just said, Doom." Rachel laughed, imaging Puck chasing after a little boy with a Mohawk calling out Doom.

"Noah obviously those names aren't proper."

"No, but they're badass.," he mumbled, "Why? What'd you have in mind?"

"Well, for a boy I like Prescott, and for a girl, Lorelei." Puck grimaced, horrified at her suggestions.

"What?," she asked.

"I refuse to father a child named Prescott. I wont do it, _hell no_." Rachel was just about to argue when the phone rang. He felt her jump and spring across the room to get it.

"No, nah uh, hand it to me.," he said forcefully.

"But what if it's-"

"We're taking a break from the phone, you need to clam down-"

"Noah, this is no time-"

"Rachel-"

The answering machine clicked on, playing their message and beeping. Rachel flashed Puck an angry face then turned to walk away. Before she could leave the room they heard a voice of the answering machine echoing throughout the living room.

_"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Puckerman, this is Dr. Marilyn. I have back your test results and lab work. I was wondering when the two of you could come down to the office for a meeting. Please call me back and let me know as soon as you can, have a great day."_


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry its taken a bit for an update, but I think you'll find this one fun. I know it seems like its getting kinda serious but rest assure, nothing bad will happen to Puckleberry. Hope you enjoy, please read and review!

* * *

"Wait, wait, wait, I have to do what?"

Rachel and Puck were sitting in the back room at the fertility clinic, with Puck having a hard time wrapping his head around the whole ordeal.

"Noah, all you have to do is fill this up," Rachel answered waving a small cup around, "its that easy."

Puck and Rachel had met with Dr. Marilyn to find out that Rachel had a blocked fallopian tube. Rachel had ruptured her appendix when she was younger, resulting in an infection that had led to her right fallopian tube swelling shut. While their chances of pregnancy had decreased, the doctor had assured them that it was more than possible and not to get discouraged. A few surgeries had been suggested to correct the problem, but Rachel insisted on no operation. She didn't want to waste time recovering or money on a procedure, instead suggesting in vitro fertilization to skip over the whole process. Puck had freaked when she had told him the prices, reminding him that what it would bring would be more than what they would give. They now sat in the clinic, arguing over the task at hand.

"Rachel I get what I have to do!," Puck exclaimed, "Its just kinda, you know, awkward!"

"Seriously? You do this all the time and the one time it counts you're having a problem?," Rachel laughed.

"Ok, A, I don't do this…ALL the time, and B, yes I'm having a problem. Its uncomfortable!" Rachel sighed, crossing her arms and leaning against the door frame.

"I don't want them judging me or my boys!," he whispered, hoping no one heard him being a chick. He knew it was simple, but the idea of someone analyzing and studying his swimmers messed with Puck's head a bit.

"They aren't judging anything sweetie, they're just gonna be put in a dish and-"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Puck said making her stop, talk of it all wigging him out more.

"Look," Rachel snapped growing aggravated, "your gonna grow a set, put your junk in this cup, and get us rolling on this fertilization, got it?" Half of Puck wanted to laugh because she said junk and the other was turned on by her feistiness.

"Yes ma'am.," Puck said obligingly, "and maybe later we can put-"

"Don't fill this up right now and I'll be putting my foot somewhere you wont be so hot for." She then smiled sweetly, pecked him on the cheek and left, wishing him good luck.

Puck shook his head, making his way to the chair and plopping down. They had magazines laid on the table to help "kick start" his libido, so he casually picked one up and browsed through it. He was more entertained than turned on by the pictures, actually laughing at a few. He knew that the magazine had obviously been published in the 1980's, seeing as every other girl had either crimped hair or fingerless gloves on. He chunked it back in the pile and groaned, leaning back in the chair and resting his head in his hands frustrated. After a few moments of Puck brainstorming, he had an idea. He got up and opened the door, walking down the hall to find Rachel.

"What are you doing?," she asked angrily, storming towards him and crossing her arms.

"I told you-"

"I need your help.," he whispered, not wanting the nurses to hear him.

"Noah you haven't needed help with this since you were a child.," she groaned.

"I don't know why you insist on hurting me.," he joked, placing his hands over his heart.

"Noah we didn't pay for you to do standup in the clinic.," Rachel bit out.

"Obviously," Puck said smiling, "so instead of wasting more of our time, come help your husband out." He pulled on her hand but she tugged it away.

"Noah, seriously!," she hissed.

"Seriously, Rachel this place freaks the hell outta me.," he said frantically, "They're trying to turn me on with Madonna back there, this shit is twisted!" Rachel didn't look amused by his plea, placing her hands on her hips and tapping her foot.

"Babe, I'm dying back there. I feel like I'm a show animal or something, it unsettling." After a few minutes of his incessant whining Rachel threw her hands up.

"Fine," she grumbled, pulling him to the backroom, "but I swear of this is some lame attempt to just get some, I will kick your ass."

"I love when you talk dirty to me.," he joked, receiving a swift punch from Rachel.

"See, this right here, this is why I knew you were the one."

* * *

Rachel and Puck fled to the truck, red faced and embarrassed. They climbed in quickly, Puck revving the engine and hitting the gas as fast as he could. Rachel had her hands over her face and Puck was trying to stifle a laugh.

A nurse had opened the door to Puck's room, thinking it was free for another patient. Needless to say, she found the couple in a very compromising position that resulted in a lecture from the head nurse.

"Well," Puck said biting back laughter, "at least I got it done...in more ways than one."


	7. Chapter 7

Glad you're still enjoying, keep reading and reviewing!!

* * *

"Seriously Noah? If I trip over these damn boots again, I'll choke you with the laces."

Rachel was in a mood. Since her and Puck's in vitro visit a week ago, the doctor had placed her on hormones to help increase her chances of implantation. While Puck had been all for any help they could get, he wasn't exactly thrilled with the side affects. Not only was she bipolar, she would go from jumping his bones one minute to being completely repulsed by the sight of him. She would complain about being bloated and getting sick, than turn around to inhale a Snickers bar and want another. While Puck was supportive, he had a headache from trying to keep up with her crazy.

"Ok sweetie, I'm sorry. I'll pick them up next time.," he said politely. She looked up from the bed where she was laying and grumbled.

"You don't have to mock me Noah, I was just saying." Puck shook his head, finishing brushing his teeth and making his way to bed.

"I…never mind.," he sighed, climbing in on his side and pulling up the covers, "Good night babe." He closed his eyes and relaxed, only to hear sniffles coming from the other side of his bed a moment later.

"Babe, you alright?," he called, rolling over and placing his hand on her hip. He looked over to see Rachel with tears in her eyes, curled up like a child.

"Rachel, what's wrong?," he asked scared.

"You're mad at me, I can tell.," she whimpered, "You're not even touching me." He sighed, scooting closer to her and wrapping his arms around her.

"I didn't know if you wanted me to babe, I didn't want to invade your space.," he said softly, remembering earlier when he tried to kiss her and was met with the palm of her hand.

"No, you think I'm a monster, a crazy, moody monster!," she wailed, burying her head in her pillow.

"Rach," Puck said sweetly, "you're not a monster, or crazy or, uh, moody.," he bit out, knowing that lying was clearly his only option. He slid his hand under her shirt and began to rub her back soothingly. He felt her relax under his hand and he rested his head back on the pillow. A moment later he felt her stir and opened his eyes to see her facing him grinning, knowing exactly what she wanted.

"Really?," he laughed. She didn't respond, just crawled over to his side and began placing small kisses on his neck. He couldn't lie, when she was feeling good she was feeling really good, but he often got confused as to what he could or couldn't say. He decided to just shut the hell up and enjoy her current mood swing, pulling her on top of him. She began dragging her lips down his chest, leaving a trail of kisses down his abdomen. Puck groaned in satisfaction as she reached the lining of his boxers, gently tracing her nails along the top. Just as she was about to slide them off, Puck heard her grunt and felt her move. He looked up to see her hands covering her mouth as she flew into the bathroom, unloading the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

Puck made his way into the bathroom, running his hands through her hair and pulling it back. She looked and sounded pathetic, resting her head on the cold porcelain when she finished.

"You ok baby?," Puck asked as he rubbed her back. Rachel gave a light nod, reaching for a towel from the railing. He turned on the sink and filled her a small glass of water, handing it to her as she sat up.

"This is humiliating.," she murmured, taking a swig and washing her mouth out.

"No its not, come on," he said cheerfully, "I've seen you in much worse conditions than this." Rachel didn't respond, taking another swig and spitting it out.

"I really hope these stupid hormones works, I don't know how much more I can take.," she mumbled.

"It'd be cool if I were a seahorse.," Puck said flatly. Rachel turned to him, a look of confusion etched across her face.

"The hell?," she asked.

"Seahorses. Yeah, you know, males carry the baby and stuff.," he said casually, as if his comment was completely valid, "I Googled it." Rachel smiled, standing up and brushing her knees off.

"That's really sweet Noah, in the weirdest and most off hand way, that was sweet." Puck leaned in to kiss her but was met with her palm once again.

"No no," she insisted, "I have to brush my teeth first." Puck just stared at her, wondering why she didn't get that he didn't care. He pushed her hand aside and kissed her anyways, causing her to squirm in his arms.

"You're so gross.," she moaned into his lips.

"You love me anyways.," he said smirking. He went back into their bedroom, giving Rachel some privacy. He grabbed the paperwork on the nightstand that talked about symptoms from the hormones. He was reading through when something caught his eye.

"Hey baby," he called to her.

"Yeah," she yelled back while flossing her teeth.

"It says that within one to two weeks we should have results.," he said pointing. Rachel furrowed her brow and made her way over, grabbing the paper and looking it over.

"You think we should take the test now?," she asked looking back at Puck.

"Why not, it's been a week right?," he asked shrugging. Rachel continued reading, sitting down beside him on the bed.

"I mean I guess so.," she said, "There's no reason not to." Puck smiled, kissing her forehead and grabbing his hoodie and shoes.

"Where are you going?." she asked laughing.

"Market, we need a test!," he said frantically, shoving his foot inside his boots.

"Nice outfit.," she joked at the sight of her husband in only blue boxers and a grey hoodie.

"Don't you judge me.," he joked, grabbing his keys and heading out, "I'll be back."

"Cookie dough!," Rachel screamed from the bedroom, "Make sure you get cookie dough please!"


	8. Chapter 8

Glad ya'll are enjoying! Keep reading and reviewing, thanks so much!

* * *

"Rachel come sit down, you're making me nervous."

Puck and Rachel were back at the doctor's office, awaiting their pregnancy test. They had taken one a week ago, only to get back a negative blue line. Rachel cried and Puck got pissed, both completely lost as to why this kept happening. Rachel had lost all hope, deciding that she would look into an adoption agency and stop putting her body through so much. Puck hadn't been as easy going about giving up, pleading with her to see the doctor again before she made any rash decisions.

"I don't want to be here Noah, I'm tired.," Rachel sniped, frustrated that he had tricked her into coming. She had thought they were going out for ice-cream, so when he turned into the clinic he was met with a punch in the shoulder and bombarded with insults.

"If it helps I'll take you out for ice ream after?," Puck offered.

"Well it's a start.," she pouted in her chair, crossing her arms and sticking up her nose. They continued sitting in the room, time seeming to drag on for hours.

"I'm sorry I tricked you," Puck said finally, "I just cant stand to see you give up on something you want so much."

"I don't even care anymore.," she muttered, gazing outside the window of the small room.

"Don't say that Rachel, you don't mean it.," Puck snapped, frustrated with her defeated attitude.

"Yes I do Noah. God, you don't even know what it feels like do you?," she said angrily, now turning to face him, "What it feels like to be completely worthless." Puck was stunned by her response, his heart breaking at her words.

"Baby you're not-"

"Every living thing on the planet can produce Noah, hell even goddamn rats can do it!," she said, her voice growing louder and louder, "And yet I cant. Do you know how useless that makes me?" She stood up heading for the door but he intervened.

"Rachel you're being-"

"I'm not a completely ridiculous person Noah!," she shouted, "Carrying a child, its what makes women different from men. Its what makes us special, it's the most important and beautiful thing I'll ever do. And the fact that I can't just makes me good for nothing, damaged." She brushed past him and flung the door open, coming face-to-face with Dr. Marilyn.

"Oh hi! I'm sorry I took so long, please have a seat." She motioned to the chairs and Rachel groaned, stomping back to hers and plopping down. Puck joined her, his head spinning from their fight.

"Now your here because your pregnancy test came back negative?," she asked curiously, flipping through her folder with a confused expression.

"Yes," Rachel sighed, "but what's new right?" Dr. Marilyn flashed her an odd face, then continued flipping through her file.

"Well now sometimes the test can be wrong," she said optimistically, "sometimes if taken to early it can give you a false negative or false positive."

"Oh I'm positive, it was negative.," Rachel said sarcastically, sliding her head in her hand. The doctor continued flipping around, finally pulling out a page and smiling.

"Here we go-" she began but Rachel interrupted.

"Look Dr. Marilyn, I am more than appreciative of what you've done for us, really, but I think this is gonna be the last visit we have.," Rachel said fiercely, receiving a death glare from Puck, "I'm no longer putting my body through this emotional roller coaster to only be rewarded with one heartbreak after another." The doctor nodded understandingly, leaning back in her chair.

"I don't think you mean that Mrs. Puckerman.," she said quickly. Rachel looked taken back, leaning forward in her chair.

"Not to be rude, but you don't know how I feel alright? Besides, there's obviously a reason why this is happening, everything happens for a reason right?" Dr. Marilyn just nodded, standing up to escort them out.

"Very well, if that's how you truly feel I guess we say good bye.," she said shaking Rachel's hand. She handed Puck the paper she had been reading and turned to leave.

"You come back when you change your mind.," she called out, leaving them in the hall.

"I mean really, she had some nerve.," Rachel laughed as she faded out of sight.

"Rach-" Puck said slowly, finally realizing what the doctor handed him.

"Let's just go home Noah, I'm exhausted-"

"-Rachel-"

"-I just want to get out of here and get back-"

"RACHEL!"

"WHAT?"

"Did you really mean what you said in there?," he asked slowly, finally looking up at her from the paper in front of him.

"Wha-Noah, please-"

"Just answer the damn question, do you really feel that way?," he asked her.

"I don't know, yeah, sometimes," she sighed, "why are you so concerned with my emotions?"

Puck turned the paper in his hands around for her to read.

"Because you're pregnant and I need to know if they're gonna get worse."


	9. Chapter 9

Love the reviews! Thanks so much, hope you keep reading and enjoying!

* * *

"Noah, we're not saying a word!"

The two were making their way up the steps to Puck's mothers for Sunday dinner. He had been ecstatic, wanting to share the news with everyone, but Rachel had insisted on secrecy.

"Why, baby come on! This is exciting! That woman in there is gonna freak!," he exclaimed, reaching for the doorknob before he was stopped.

"Yes, I know honey but that's the thing.," she sighed, "I don't want to get everyone excited and then something bad happens." Puck could tell her by her face that she was worried, having spent the last two weeks monitoring everything she did in fear of miscarrying.

"You can't think like that babe.," Puck said as he pushed a few strands of hair out of her eyes, "Nothing bad is gonna happen to us, or that baby."

"I know, but I'm only a month along Puck and I would just appreciate it if we could keep this under wraps until I'm a little further. Please?" She flashed him her puppy eyes and Puck melted.

"Fine, secrets safe.," he mumbled. He opened the door and stepped in, soon greeted by his mom.

"Noah, come here.," she smiled widely, taking him in her arms and squeezing tightly.

"And look at you, always stunning.," she said as she turned to Rachel. She pulled back for a moment, studying her over.

"You look different sweetie, did you do something new?," she asked curiously, searching every inch of Rachel's face.

"Moisturizing.," Rachel answered, "Twice a day, skin's like a baby's bottom." His mom simply nodded, seeming to buy the answer and turning back to Puck.

"Where's the brat?," he asked her, motioning toward his sister's room.

"Who knows," his mom replied while throwing her hands up, "movies, mall, boys, I lose track." Rachel noticed Puck tensed up at the sound of boys and she giggled to herself.

"Well stop standing there Noah, get the girls coat and bring her to the table.," his mom snapped, "Honestly, ya think I raised a farm animal." She wondered back inside the kitchen, leaving the two of them alone.

"I did always love your mom.," Rachel said sweetly, handing her jacket to Puck.

"Yeah, totally couldn't tell.," he muttered. The two made their way to the table, while Puck's mom grabbed the huge pot of soup.

"So, what's new? What have you two been up to?," she asked as she filled Rachel's bowl up.

"Well, school is going great, the kids are fantastic.," Rachel said as she grabbed her spoon, "We actually have a recital coming up."

"Wonderful!," she shouted as she moved on to Puck, "Let me know when and I'll be there, front row." She finally sat down and filled her own bowl, turning to Puck now.

"And you? How's the shop?," she asked, "You running the whole place yet?"

"No ma'am, not yet.," he laughed, "But I did a promotion last week." Her face lit up as he said this, causing her to get up and head to the kitchen.

"Well Noah, congratulations!," she said excitedly, "This is time for celebrating!" She came back into the room with a bottle of wine in hand. Rachel felt her stomach flip, knowing she couldn't drink. She tried to think of some excuse for skipping out, knowing his mom would be suspicious.

"I'm just so proud of you two, really, getting your lives together like you have and being so independent.," she gushed as she handed Puck a glass. He looked over at Rachel, his eyes wide after making the same realization she had.

"Here you go doll.," she said, handing Rachel her own glass. Rachel just looked at it, still contemplating her next move.

"Uh," she said slowly, "I'm uh, I'm not really in a wine mood." Puck shook his head, knowing his mom was not about to buy that.

"What?," she said while looking at Rachel confused.

"Yeah, um, my stomach has been bothering me all day and I think I have a bug or something, so I'll pass." She looked back at her soup, trying to avoid her mother-in-law's eyes. She heard a gasp and looked up to see a look of shock on her face.

"You're pregnant!," she screeched.

"How does she do it?!," she asked Puck in shock. He just shrugged defeated, throwing his glass of wine back and preparing for her to squeal.

"Why didn't you tell me!," his mom screeched while smacking Puck's head.

"Jesus mom! Watch it!," he said rubbing his head.

"Watch your mouth," she snapped, turning back to Rachel and making her way over, "I cant believe you're finally pregnant!" She bent down and wrapped Rachel in a hug, cooing the whole time.

"I'm a grandma, oh this is too much!," she squeaked. She sat down between the two and began asking them questions.

"Now how far along are we?," she pried.

"Barely a month, so its all very early.," Rachel emphasized.

"Yeah mom, so we kinda want to keep this on the down low until we get further along.," Puck added.

"Of course, of course, I completely understand.," she insisted.

"Really ma? Cause I know what happens at the beauty shop, ya'll sit around and gossip about each other, telling stories and whatever.," Puck said smirking.

"I do not tell stories!," his mom said defensively, "Everything I know is one hundred percent true…most of the time.," she nodded. Puck rolled his eyes and leaned back.

"Well not a word alright? Seriously this time.," he said sternly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," she said shushing Puck and turning back to Rachel, "so sweetheart, tell me everything."

* * *

The two were making their way down the drive, hand in hand as they left. Puck heard Rachel laugh and looked over to see why.

"What's so funny?," he asked.

"You know what happens next right?," she asked grinning.

"We go home and try for a twin?," Puck joked.

"No Noah," Rachel said smacking him and smiling, "we have to tell my dads now."


	10. Chapter 10

Keep sending me those reviews, I love to hear from ya'll! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Oh baby I don't feel so good."

Puck emerged from their bathroom, dragging his feet and pouting. He was clad in his bathrobe and pressing his hand to his forehead.

"Aw Noah, sweetie what's wrong?" Rachel asked affectionately, making her way around their bed to him.

"I think I'm-cough-sick," he muttered pathetically, "I must've caught-cough-something at the sh-cough-op." Rachel pressed her own hand to his forehead, feeling that he was in fact a little warm.

"Oh no! Let me get the thermometer," she said heading to the bathroom. While her back was turned, Puck quickly pulled the penny out from under his tongue, gagging on the terrible after taste.

"Here we go baby.," she cooed as she gently placed it under his tongue. Puck waited patiently for it to beep, praying to the Lord above that it would show a fever. Finally it stopped and Rachel pulled it out.

"Huh," she said strangely, looking at the thermometer curiously.

"What uh, what's it say?" Puck asked, trying to hide the anxiousness in his voice.

"Well that's the odd part," Rachel said turning it to him, "Apparently you're a hundred and ten degrees." Puck stared at the digital numbers, shaking his head sadly.

"Wow, I did not think it was that bad," he said sighing, "I really need to get in bed fast." He turned to crawl in when he was tugged back.

"Really Noah? You think I'm falling for this?" she asked agitated.

"Rach, honey I'm sick-"

"Noah, honey you're lying," she said flatly, "Just because you don't want to go to my dads'-"

"Oh is that tonight?" he asked forcing surprise, "Damn, guess I'll have to miss out."

"Oh no you wont!" she snapped, "Noah, you're going to this dinner."

"Rachel, can't you see that I'm practically dying here," he moaned.

"Practically what? You stuck the thermometer under hot water and probably shoved a nickel in your mouth-

"-penny, actually-

"-the point is," Rachel said sternly, "is that you will be there when I tell them about this baby."

"Rachel they don't even like me," Puck groaned, burying his head under his pillow.

"What are you talking about? They love you!" Rachel insisted, sitting down by her husband. Puck lifted the pillow above his head and rolled his eyes.

"Now who's kidding who?" he asked, "They cant stand me, ever since they found out we did it before you were married-"

"-that was a big deal for them, I broke their trust-

"-and I broke your hymen, point is-"

"Noah please!" Rachel scowled. He sighed, pulling the pillow back over his face.

"I'm not going!" he mumbled through it. Rachel huffed, then thought of an idea.

"Fine," she said perking up, "you won't go over there, so I'll just bring them here." She reached for the phone and began dialing, Puck springing up in the meantime.

"No!" he screeched as he dived for the phone. Rachel got up and darted across the bedroom, dialing her father's number quickly.

"Rachel!" she heard him call, making his way after her. She laughed as she sprinted down the hall, running inside the guest room and shutting the door.

"Dad, its me," she said as Puck continued shouting, "I was wondering, about tonight-"

"-Rachel don't do it-"

"-it seems Noah is a bit under the weather-"

"-WWRD Rachel! What would a rabbi do?-

"-and he is just not up to trekking outside the house-"

"-I will force you to become a single mother-"

"-so I thought it'd be best if you and dad came here tonight!"

"-aaaaaaand we're through."

"Perfect! See you at seven!"

Rachel opened the door and made her way back to her bedroom, finding Puck tying his tie.

"You're wearing that to dinner?" she asked confused.

"No," he said sharply, "I'm hanging myself. Tell my mom I loved her." Rachel grabbed the tie from his hands and smacked him with it repeatedly.

"Why are you being so immature?" she bit out.

"Ow, shit, ow stop that!" he yelled. Rachel let out a noise that sounded like a growl and Puck backed away.

"Look, there's a lot going on right now. You're obviously shape shifting into your true werewolf form, and I'm not gonna lie its turning me on." Rachel walked closer to him, wishing she could smack him upside his head.

"So here's what I'm gonna do for you. I'm gonna head in the bathroom, away from you, and then I'm gonna get dressed for dinner and meet you downstairs, ok?" Rachel smiled and nodded.

"Good choice," she said as if he were a child, "and maybe tonight, while you sleep, I won't claw your face off."

"Baby I'm not down with bestiality, you know this," he joked, quickly dashing into the bathroom as Rachel went to yell.

"I'm gonna get you back for this Noah!"

* * *

Rachel was humming and singing to herself, pulling back the covers and climbing into bed. She gently fluffed her pillow and laid back, closing her eyes and preparing to drift off. She heard large footsteps coming up the stairs and giggled to herself, wondering just what he would say when he saw her.

"Erectile Dysfunction?" he almost screamed, "You told your dad's we had to use In Vitro because I have erectile dysfunction?" Rachel tried to contain her laughter, but the sight of him holding up a bottle of little blue pills sent her over the edge.

"Told you I would get you back," she sung. Puck chunked the bottle in the trash then angrily threw his shirt and jeans off.

"Well thanks babe, now they think we have a suck ass sex life," he murmured, crawling in on the other side.

"It doesn't matter what they think," she said grinning, "Isn't that what you've always said?"

"Isn't that what you've always said," he mocked her, "I don't like people thinking that crap about me." Rachel rolled over and began rubbing his back.

"Aw, is someone wounded?" Puck shook her off, burying himself deep under the covers.

"I'm not talking to you the rest of the night," he glowered. Rachel just laughed and gently kissed the back of his head.

"Goodnight Noah."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, night Rachel…and baby."


	11. Chapter 11

Sorry it took a bit for this chapter, but I definitely think you're gonna like it! Keep reading and reviewing, I appreciate it all!

* * *

"Noah, stop touching that!"

Rachel and Puck were once again at the doctor's office, waiting patiently for their eight week check up. Puck had grown increasingly bored while waiting, preoccupying himself with the jars of doctors supplies.

"What?" he asked innocently while blowing up a latex glove, "I'm being quiet aren't I?" Rachel groaned, leaning back on the exam table and holding her stomach.

"Feeling sick again?" he asked making his way to her side. She nodded and rolled towards him, snuggling her head in his arms.

"I'm sorry babe," he said soothingly, "At least you can look forward to seeing our little one today." He patted her still flat stomach and flashed her his cheesiest grin, making Rachel smile finally.

"That's true," she nodded, "I mean I know we can't tell yet, but what do you think it is?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know," Puck shrugged, "I don't really care as long as its healthy and all…and doesn't have your snout," Puck joked while lightly flicking her nose. Rachel scoffed, placing her fingers on her face and scooting away.

"I'm kidding babe, you know that," he laughed.

"Yeah? Well I'd rather it have my nose than your torso." Puck stepped back and threw his hands up.

"The hell is wrong with my torso?" he asked offended.

"Nothing, its just a little on the short side is all." Puck pulled up his shirt, looking down at his stomach and rubbing it.

"What are you talking about?" he questioned her confused.

"Noah put your shirt down, Dr. Marilyn could walk in here any moment!" Rachel insisted.

"Let her, it'd be nice to have a second opinion!" he snapped. Just as Rachel had said might happen, Dr. Marilyn walked through the door a moment later.

"Hi Mrs.-" she stopped short seeing Puck and flashed him a disapproving look.

"Sup doc," he said nodding, dropping his shirt and acting casual. She shook him off, making her way to the sonogram machine and prepping Rachel.

"Now, this is a little cold," she said applying the gel, "so bear with me." Puck curiously poked the gel and rubbed it between his fingers, grimacing at the texture. Rachel stared him down, sending him the death glare and making Puck straighten up.

"So how have you been feeling?"

"Great," Puck answered, "…oh, her, right," he said shutting up so Rachel could speak.

"Fine, but I'm already experiencing morning sickness and its bad," Rachel answered, "I mean all the time, even waking me up sometimes."

"Well the first trimester is always the worst," the doctor said reassuringly, "any other symptoms?"

"Not really, some headaches here and there. I get exhausted fairly easily or dizzy sometimes. I've also been rather bloated…"

"…and mean and bossy and snarky and demanding," Puck rattled on, listing his own symptoms for Rachel. He completely understood that pregnancy was grueling, but between her moods and her foods, it was all he could do to keep up.

"Well you only have one more month in your first trimester and then things should get much better," she said smiling, "now lets get a look at that baby!" She flicked the machine on and shut the lights off, gently rubbing Rachel's tummy.

"Ok, now here we have-" she quickly stopped talking, her face growing confused.

"What?" Puck asked scared, "what do we have?" She didn't answer immediately, clicking on the machine and moving it around.

"Wow," she said staring at the screen.

"Its one of those tumor things isn't it?" Puck's voice echoed throughout the room, causing him to receive awkward stares.

"Seriously, I saw it on TV," he said defensively, "this woman thinks she's pregnant right? So she's goes in and damn if she didn't have a tumor. It had tiny teeth and tiny hair, and I'm pretty sure that thing had emotions too." He stared at the two women, feeling as of he was completely logical.

"Er, no," Dr. Marilyn said awkwardly, "Just, no." She shook him off and then smiled, turning the monitor to now face Rachel and Puck.

"Congratulations you two, you're having twins." Rachel gasped and Puck's jaw hit the ground. They sat speechless as she pointed to the two heartbeats, with Rachel squealing and Puck continuing to be motionless.

"This is so exciting!" Rachel gushed while squeezing Puck's hand.

"So wait, I went from having no babies to two," he mumbled while holding up his fingers, "that's…that's intense."

"I'll print off a few pictures for you to have and I'll be right back," the doctor said as she flicked on the lights. Puck turned to face Rachel, still utterly stunned by the news.

"Noah are you alright?" she asked, lightly shaking his hand, "I mean this is gonna be ok, right?"

"Babe of course!" he said sitting on the exam table with her, "Now we'll each have a baby to play with!" Rachel laughed as he wrapped his arm around her and kissed her gently.

"Seriously though, I couldn't ask for more," he grinned happily.

"Well, we could've. I mean I could be having triplets."

"Baby," Puck said shushing her, "stop trying to birth a litter, two is plenty."


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Glad you all like, hope this chapter satisfies as well!

* * *

"Noooaaahhh."

Rachel had been calling for him the last half an hour, using her cutesy baby voice which could only mean one of two things: He was getting laid, or she was making him think he was getting laid, only to get him to do stuff that didn't include her. The latter always happened more often, so he had stayed firmly put in his recliner, not falling for the little whimpers he heard.

"I'm busy," he hollered back, shifting in his seat to get more comfortable.

"But I have a surprise for you," she called sweetly, making Puck consider going upstairs.

"I…no, I'm reading." Puck wasn't lying, he was in fact reading, an actual book even. After they had found out they were pregnant, Rachel had stocked up on every baby book imaginable. Just when he thought she couldn't find another, she did, only these books were all about twins. Puck had become enthralled in a section discussing Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome, and wondering what the hell that meant.

"Noah please, I reeeeaaaaallllllllyyyy need you," Rachel called again, interrupting Puck once more.

"Rachel!" he yelled frustrated.

"Just for a minute?"

"I'm not doing laundry again," he shouted, "Last time you yelled at me. And I thought you liked pink!"

"Noah this has nothing to do with the laundry," her voice echoed, "in fact, very little clothing is involved at all." This time Puck was up, heading towards the stairs and opening his bedroom door.

"I knew it," she smiled, crawling towards him on the bed.

"You're not playing with me are you?" he asked raising his eyebrow. Rachel simply shook her head, now tugging on his belt buckle.

"Well then," he growled leaning to kiss her as she pulled him on top.

"What took you so long?" she giggled in his ear, pulling his shirt off in the process.

"Mm, I was reading those baby books," he answered, suddenly pulling away, "by the way, do you know what Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome is?" Rachel just stared at him, confused as to why he would care about such a thing right now.

"Really?" she asked motioning between them.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Puck said shaking his head, returning his lips to her neck. Rachel moaned deeply, her hands fumbling with her own top.

"Cause I mean it sounds scary," Puck said pulling back again, "like it sounds like one twin eats the other and then gains all its powers." Once again Rachel was confused.

"Noah what the hell?" she asked flustered, "Pregnancy isn't like a video game."

"Uhm, duh," Puck said sarcastically, "…but fuck that'd be cool." Rachel pushed Puck on the bed, crawling on top and straddling him.

"Stop talking," she insisted, "just stop."

"Yes ma'am," Puck chuckled relaxing, "whatever you want." Rachel tried to regain the mood back, slowly letting her hands creep down his waste and lightly brush against his boxers. Puck groaned in satisfaction but just as she was about to pull them off, she heard him humming and stopped abruptly.

"Are you humming the Super Mario Brothers song?" she asked appalled.

"What? No!" he insisted, "Wait,…yeah, yeah that is it!" Rachel sighed, climbing off her husband and making her way to her side.

"Baby, wait," Puck said frantically, "what are you doing?"

"I've lost it," she sighed, "I've completely lost it."

"Well lets get it back!" Puck said as he let his hand slip between her legs.

"Noah, no!" Rachel said shooing him away, "Your incessant talking has turned me off."

"Whoa!" Puck said loudly, "My incessant talking? If talking makes you a buzz kill, baby you're Bea Arthur." Rachel scoffed, sitting up and staring him down.

"What does that mean?" she asked angrily, "And how do you even know who that is?"

"You talk all the time!" he shouted, "and Bea is a legend!"

"You said it was cute!" Rachel yelled back.

"Yeah, cute when your saying my name!" Rachel had had enough, springing up from their bed and throwing a pillow and blanket into the hall.

"Baby come back, you shouldn't sleep on the couch," Puck called form the bed.

"Oh I'm not darling," she oozed sweetly, "you are." Puck sat up and gave her his crazy face.

"Like hell, I'm staying here. Now bring the kids back and lets settle down, please?" Rachel continued to stand by the door, crossing her arms and nodding to it.

"Go on, go," she snapped. Puck groaned, knowing if he gave in she'd get over it in the morning. He grabbed his watch and cell phone, dragging his feet out the door. Before he went down the stairs he leaned down, whispering softly and rubbing Rachel's stomach,

"Really guys? You're supposed to be helping your old man out, not getting him kicked to the couch." He placed a small kiss and stood back up.

"Good night Noah," Rachel said curtly.

"Good night babies," he said, walking down the stairs, still humming the Super Mario Brothers song.


	13. Chapter 13

I loved the reviews and the idea of pregnancy actually being a game is hysterical and really clever! Hope you all continue to enjoy, keep reading and reviewing!

* * *

"Its gonna be fun Noah, you'll see!"

Rachel had signed her and Puck up for parenting classes. She had rattled away one night about how much fun it would be and how much they would learn, showing him the brochure and all the information. She explained that the parenting classes would lead into the Lamaze classes, and that it would be comfortable to have the same person helping her throughout her pregnancy. Puck had apparently agreed, although he didn't recall the memory.

"Rachel why can't we just do the birthing classes?" he whined as he got out of his truck, "I don't need someone telling me how to raise my kids."

"Noah," Rachel said squeezing his hand and leading him towards the building, "they aren't going to tell you how to raise our kids. They're simply providing us with information on how life will change with our babies and how to balance it all."

"And I agreed to this?" Puck asked frustrated, "I mean you're sure I agreed to this?"

"Yes Noah, you agreed," she said awkwardly, "maybe not in so many words, but you moaned which I take as a positive answer."

"I knew it! I knew you tricked me!" he shouted loudly, scaring away a pregnant passerby, "You asked me during sex didn't you?" Rachel grew silent, shifting her eyes towards the ground.

"Well, I mean I might have remembered it while in a moment of passion, sure," she said while avoiding his eyes, "but you still said yes!"

"Baby, when you're doing that thing with your mouth, I'll say yes to anything." he said defensively, "I feel so used, so cheap, so tawdry." Rachel sighed, opening the door and pushing him through.

"Stop being dramatic Noah, this is gonna be a great learning opportunity!" She pulled him down to her level and softly spoke again.

"And if you don't do this, the next class you'll be attending is divorce counseling."

* * *

"Welcome all, to the wonderful world of parenting!"

Puck was doomed. As if being surrounded by twelve pregnant women wasn't enough, the counselor in their group was a raging hippie. She was wearing what could only be described as a potato sack, and swinging her arms around while humming and chanting about the miracle of life.

"In this class, I hope to broaden your understanding and knowledge of becoming loving parents, and help you expand your minds, souls, and hearts." Puck glared at Rachel, leaning towards her on the floor and whispering in her ear.

"I'm so getting laid for this," he muttered, "and you better let me-"

"Sh!" Puck's head turned around to find himself being shushed by his neighbor. She had to be ready to pop, her stomach bulging under her shirt while she flashed him an angry glare. Puck couldn't lie, she intimidated the hell out of him, and he scooted closer to Rachel.

"How much longer is this?" he asked softly, afraid of stirring the beast beside him again.

"Noah stop!" Rachel bit out between clenched teeth, "I'm trying to listen-"

"And I'm trying to survive!" he interrupted, "I'm surrounded by hormones and I've got an ogre about to pounce on my left. I'm pretty sure if it even moves the wrong way its pouch will explode!"

"Noah you cant call her that!" Rachel insisted, "She's pregnant!"

"She's scary," he said flatly, "and I'm positive the herd she's carrying are about to stampede out any minute." Rachel pinched Puck hard, making him wince loudly in pain.

"Alright, alright!" he squirmed, snatching his arm back and pouting in his place.

"Now, I figured we could do a little crash course," the counselor squealed too cheerfully, "how do you learn about newborns you ask? Well, you take care of one!" Puck began to panic, turning to Rachel and grabbing her hand.

"She's giving us another baby?!" he asked frantically, "doesn't she know we already have two?!" Puck turned to see what she had and found her returning to the class with a huge basket.

"Now, inside of here you will find our first lesson." She smiled and picked up a baby doll, cradling it gently in her arms and cooing.

"Ah the innocence of a child," she whispered to the doll, tenderly laying it down on the table. If Puck wasn't terrified before he was now, and he leaned back to Rachel once more.

"Dude, you're seeing a baby doll too right?" Rachel ignored him and continued to listen intently, taking in everything the counselor said.

"What this process does is give you a chance to experience what your first few days with baby will be like," she said soothingly, "So I want you to take one home and care for it like it was your own. Afterwards, we'll regroup and see what things you need to improve on for the rest of our classes, and I'll make sure you become the best parent you can!

* * *

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

Puck sat in his recliner, baby doll in hand. It had been crying for the past hour, Puck having given up on trying to please it. He was now turning it upside down in his hands, shaking it to find the battery pack or off switch, anything to get the godforsaken thing to stop.

"Noah, you alright?" he heard Rachel call down the stairs. He quickly shoved the doll in an upright position, making it appear like they had been bonding.

"Psh, yeah," he said as the doll continued to wail, "we're just chilling." Rachel entered the living room carrying her own doll, looking at him with a worried expression.

"Have you tried to get it to stop crying?" she asked sitting beside him.

"Yeah, and I'm about ready to punt the damn thing" he said angrily, "Seriously, where is its voice box and how do I remove it?" Rachel scoffed, lightly laying her doll down on the couch and picking up Puck's.

"Noah, you cant treat it like that!" she exclaimed, picking it up gently and trying to feed it.

"Babe, I'm so over this," Puck moaned, "I mean they're dolls! They're not real, the boy doesn't even have junk and they smell funny!" He could tell he had upset Rachel, as her jaw dropped and she stomped her foot.

"Noah!"

"Plus, mine is missing an eyeball so now it just winks at me and I'm scared of it. Take it away Rachel, I don't wanna play anymore."

"So is this what you're gonna do with our babies? One of them gets upset so you just chunk it across the room?"

"Ok no, because our kids will be REAL!" he said defensively, "And I only did that because the Cyclops one was freaking me out." Rachel sat down on the couch with the doll, successfully able to make it stop crying.

"I'm really disappointed in you, I thought this would be good for us."

"Well I'm sorry to let you down, but I feel emasculated by this whole situation." Rachel stood up, grabbing both babies and putting them in his lap.

"Fine, you take them back and tell her all this. I'm done." She turned and stormed up the stairs, leaving the dolls with Puck. He looked down at them, flicking them hard and chunking them on the ground. As he stood up to make amends with Rachel he heard them both begin to cry. Puck picked them up, opening the back door and drop kicking them across the yard.

"SCORE!" he shouted as one landed directly in the garbage can. He turned to go back in the house, but the sight of his neighbors staring hard stopped him.

"Kids!" he shouted as he waved, turning around and heading inside.


	14. Chapter 14

I appreciate all the feedback and for the offer Lil0, I might have to take you up on that! I hope you like the latest chapter, keep reading and reviewing!!

* * *

"What do you think about this?"

Puck was sitting on the bench in the store, watching as Rachel spun around in circles to show off the blue dress she had on. He had offered to take her shopping for new maternity clothes, not only because she could no longer snap the button on her jeans anymore, but because Puck needed to make things up to her for his crappy behavior over the past few weeks.

"It looks great babe," Puck said smiling, "you look beautiful." Rachel grinned and ran back into the dressing room, grabbing another dress and hurrying to try it on.

"Noah this is really sweet you know," she called from behind the door.

"Not a problem," he responded, "anything for my babies mama." Rachel opened the door again, wearing a pink dress this time and twirling it around.

"Well?" Puck looked her up and down, noticing the small swell underneath the fabric. Rachel was only a little over three months, but she already had a tiny bump forming. He had noticed it one night when they were fooling around and had unknowingly made Rachel self conscious.

"You're not fat baby, you're pregnant!" he had called through the bathroom door, trying to coax her to come back out.

"I am fat! I'm only fourteen weeks and I'm already huge!" she had shouted back.

"Sweetie please, I don't think you're huge! Maybe twins make you bigger."

"Oh, so you _do_ think I'm big!"

"No, I was just saying-"

"So now I'll get twice as fat, thanks Noah!" Needless to say Puck didn't finish fooling around with Rachel, and ever since he'd been careful about his comments.

"I think you're gorgeous," he said while nodding, "very, very pretty mama." Rachel giggled as she sat down in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and propping her feet up.

"I can't begin to tell you how much this means to me," she said while she kissed his cheek, "I know I've been a little crazy lately." Little crazy was an understatement in Puck's opinion. From eating pickles with peanut butter to crying sporadically and then laughing at nothing, Rachel had been every bit of an emotional roller coaster. Puck didn't dare say a word as she spoke though, continuing to nod along and smile.

"I really love everything you've done to make me feel better and I want you to know how much I appreciate it." Puck smirked and raised his eyebrow, having an idea flash in his mind.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" he asked sliding his hands up her thigh.

"Well, if you were thinking about taking me in that changing room and ravishing me, no," she said while Puck frowned, "But, if you were thinking we should totally buy me another dress and spend more of your money then yes!" She hopped of his lap and headed back to the dressing room, winking as she shut the door.

"Noah, you know where we should go next?"

"To our bedroom," he answered casually.

"No Noah," she shouted back, "to the baby store and begin picking out themes for the nursery." The soon to be parents were planning on converting their guest room into the babies' room, but so far nothing was touched.

"Ok babe, but I already know what we're going with."

"Yeah?" Rachel asked as she stepped out in a yellow dress, "What'd you have in mind?"

"Ok, are you ready?" Puck asked excitedly, "One word: Metallica." Rachel just glared at him, trying to hold back her judgment. Puck was still staring at her animatedly, nodding his head and grinning goofily.

"Perfect, right? We can have like, tricked out cribs with mobiles of Kirk Hammett's guitar right? And instead of playing shitty lullabies, ours will play "Enter Sandman!" Rachel knew Puck was more than serious, continuing to tell her all of his ideas and plans.

"So, what do you think?" he asked after he finished describing a changing table with the Gimme Fuel symbol. Rachel searched to find the nicest words she could, trying not to completely dash his dream baby room.

"Well, that is very creative Noah," she said sweetly, "but I was thinking of something more…kid friendly."

"Like what?" he asked genuinely confused.

"Well, something more childlike. Maybe classic Winnie the Pooh or a pretty pattern." Puck grimaced at her suggestion, shaking his head and hand at her.

"Baby that's lame!" he said dismissively, "Our kids deserve something totally awesome. They deserve a room no other kid has!"

"While I agree," she said sitting beside him, "I find that Metallica might be a little too much, you know? Maybe we could tone it down a bit?" Puck turned and began thinking again, his head shooting up with another idea.

"Pearl Jam!" he almost yelled. Rachel sighed, patting his hand and going to change.

"How about we discuss this more in the baby store, ok?"

"Fine," Puck mumbled while crossing his arms, "but after that we're going to the record store and I'm picking out another theme.

* * *

"See Noah, isn't this sweet?"

Rachel was holding up a sailboat blanket and making it move as if in water. Puck rolled his eyes, shaking his head and throwing it back down.

"Just because you make it move doesn't mean I'll like it," he muttered.

"Ok, what about this? This is very boyish." It was a sports themed blanket, decorated in small footballs and basketballs with red and blue stripes.

"I mean its not terrible," he said flicking it, "but its still not awesome."

"Noah you're not even considering if we're having little girls!" she said while huffing, "What if we do huh? How would you decorate it then?" Puck didn't even bother wondering about the theme of a little girls room, instead his mind flashing to life with three women bossing him around.

"Oh god, Rachel if we have two girls I'm done," he said sadly, "I'll be outnumbered, I wont stand a chance. Everything will look like Pepto Bismol and giggle, Rachel I'm a man I need support!"

"Noah calm down!" she said shushing him, "You're being irrational."

"Oh yeah?" he asked smirking, "What if we have two boys?" It was now Rachel's turn to daydream, the image of two small Puck's lighting a cat on fire flashing in her mind.

"Jesus they'll end the world," she said dazed, "Everything will be on fire and grunt."

"See, its not so funny when the shoes on the other foot is it? And I dont grunt!" Rachel turned to Puck and pulled him down.

"Promise me if we have boys that you wont let them play with matches?"

"Swear, as long as you promise me one of our daughters will be butch so I can talk sports with her."

"Deal," they said in unison, shaking hands and leaving the store satisfied.


	15. Chapter 15

Great, great, great reviews! Keep them coming and keep enjoying! Thank you all!

* * *

"From now on Noah, no more cursing."

Puck had been sitting innocently in his bedroom and watching the game when Rachel had stormed in.

"Wait, what?" he asked confused, having been completely caught off guard by her announcement. Rachel held up a book in her hand and began to read.

"Tiny bones in the fetus's ears are finished forming during the sixteenth week, making it likely that the baby can hear your voice when you're speaking." Rachel looked up to Puck and glared, watching as he threw his hands up defensively.

"What? I don't curse all the time!" Rachel laughed as she made her way to the bed, lightly kicking of her slippers while scoffing at her husband.

"Please, and I don't like Celine Dion," she mumbled as she settled herself in. Puck flipped the TV off and turned to his wife.

"So you're saying I have to watch everything I'm saying?"

"Well it was going to happen anyways!" Rachel said as she rolled over to him, "Why not start now?" Puck stared at her with his "crazy Berry" face, wondering where his wife got her ideas.

"Look, all I'm saying is that the babies can now recognize our voices. When they're born we'll already have a connection, a connection I don't want ruined with your potty mouth."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he muttered as he turned of his light.

"Goodnight Noah," he heard Rachel say as she rubbed his back.

"Night mama," he mumbled into his pillow. He lay there and began thinking about what Rachel had said, wondering if it were true or not. He decided to try it out, waiting another half an hour to make sure Rachel was good and gone.

"Baby," he called out in the darkness. After no reply, Puck rolled over and slid under the covers. He gently slid Rachel's t-shirt up, her small bump now visible.

"Alright babies, listen up," he whispered as he lightly tapped on her belly button, "we've got a few things to talk about." He peeked from under the covers once more to make sure Rachel was still asleep, then scooted back down to carry on.

"Now look, there are a couple of things you two need to know. First, your mother is crazy." Puck gently rubbed her tummy as he said this, trying to offer the twins some comfort.

"I mean I'm talking sweater-vest wearing, Barbara Streisand loving, don't curse at your undeveloped babies crazy. I know, its not fair, but if you guys stick with me, I'll get you through it." He imagined the twins had understood, so he continued on with his speech.

"Second, always have your dad's back. Your mom is already planning out your choir outfits and even has a photo shoot lined up for your birth. Needless to say, I'm gonna be your saving grace, but you two have to promise to always side with me and never let mama win, deal?" He waited a moment and when he felt like they had complied, he moved on.

"Perfect. Next order of business is this whole infant gig. Now I understand that your babies and in order for me to know if you need something you're gonna have to cry. While I'm good with that and all, please don't just wail to hear yourself, alright? I get it, you guys are gonna have a set of pipes to rival Mariah, but daddy doesn't need to hear them all the time, capiche?" He nodded and began to trace small circles around Rachel's stomach, wondering if they could feel anything yet.

"Now finally, the last thing we should talk about: don't give up on your mom and I." Puck leaned down closer to her stomach and gently rested his chin on it.

"Your mama is a saint, I swear. Growing up I was God awful to her, I mean I treated her in a way no one deserves. I had a crappy attitude most of the time and never appreciated a thing. There were times when that woman should have thrown me out on the street for the stuff I pulled." He stopped and flashed back to Rachel covered in a slushie for a moment, shaking his head and moving on.

"But she never did, not once did she ever give up on me. She stood by me no matter what kind of shenanigans I wiggled myself in, and she's been there to help me wiggle right back out. Point is, we're gonna love you guys no matter what you do or who you are. Sure, I'd like to have a football player and a rock star, if one of you is a girl, my bad, but if I don't then I wont love you any less. Your mama and me are gonna give you two everything you need, and as long as you put up with our crap we'll put up with yours." He decided he had said enough and leaned up to leave.

"I hope we understand each other, and if there's anything you need to tell me…well, you're screwed." He leaned down and placed a kiss on her stomach, rubbing it once more before crawling to his pillow.

"Night babies, daddy loves you."

* * *

Puck hurriedly slid his shirt on, already running late to work and still not sure where his keys were. He grabbed his boots and headed downstairs, surprised to see Rachel still there.

"What are you still doing here?" he asked walking into the kitchen, "You're gonna be late for school young lady."

"Oh? Am I in trouble?" she asked playing along while nibbling his ear.

"Really? The one morning I don't have time and you're gonna do this to me?" Rachel laughed as she wrapped her hands around Puck, standing on the tips of her toes to kiss him.

"Seriously babe, what's gotten into you?" Rachel pulled back still smiling, rubbing her hands along his chest.

"I heard you last night," she grinned, "and it was probably the sweetest thing you've ever said."

"Aw, even better than my vows?"

"Well, considering you forgot half of them and cursed during part of it, yes, it was better than your vows." She pulled Puck back down for another kiss, lingering a little longer just to tease him.

"And tonight, I'll show you just how much I loved it." Maybe he had been that sweet, or maybe her hormones were just going nuts again, whichever Puck didn't care. He turned to leave but before he did, he bent down quickly to her belly.

"Now this, this is how you have your dad's back!"


	16. Chapter 16

Love the wonderful reviews! I'm so excited ya'll are loving this as much as I do, so please keep reading and reviewing!

* * *

"Noah please, I'm not in the mood tonight."

Rachel was laying on the couch, trying to ease the throbbing in her back. With everyday that passed the pain had gotten worse, finally causing her to leave work early. Puck had been trying his best to accommodate her, rubbing her back gently and stuffing as many pillows as he could to support the weight. While it had worked for awhile, the pain had returned and Puck only had one solution left.

"Come on babe, it might take your mind off it," he said as he slid his hands from her feet towards her legs.

"Oh I don't think anything can take my mind off of this," she winced while grabbing her back.

"Baby trust me, you wont even be able to think when I'm having my way with you." He began to crawl towards her on the sofa, placing kisses up her legs and then on her stomach.

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" she giggled as he slid his hands under her shirt.

"That's what the ladies tell me," he growled in her ear as she smacked him.

"Lady, lady! That's what _this_ lady tells me," he corrected quickly. The two began fooling around on their couch, Rachel groaning when she hurt and Puck readjusting to make her happy.

"Watch my back!"

"Sorry!"

"Noah those are tender!"

"You're telling me!"

"Noah, seriously they hurt!"

"Alright!"

"Don't you even think about putting that there!"

"My bad!"

They finally had managed to find a spot that suited them both, when suddenly Rachel squealed loudly and Puck screamed.

"Oh my God!"

"What the hell?"

Rachel slid her hands from around his neck, placing them on her stomach and moving around.

"Did you feel that?" she asked excitedly. Puck continued to stare at her in horror, wondering what the hell was going on with her stomach.

"What is that?" he whispered, afraid that his noises from earlier had disrupted something inside her.

"Noah it's the babies!" Rachel said ecstatically, grabbing his hand to place it on her stomach. He snatched it back quickly, afraid that if he touched her they would move wildly again.

"Is…is that normal?" he said softly, "I mean they're supposed to fidget like that?" Rachel sighed as she glared at him, wondering how he made it through the day.

"Yes Noah, they move. They're supposed to, its how you know they're ok." Puck continued staring at her stomach, imagining it exploding due to their baby feet.

"Does it like, hurt?" he asked confused, flicking her belly button to see what would happen.

"No Noah! It just feels…odd. But like a good odd, different. Here," she took his hand back again, placing it on the bottom of her tummy, "feel it." Puck waited for a flutter but got nothing. Rachel moved his hand again, yet not one movement happened.

"Well darn, I wanted you to feel them." Puck slid his hand off, still paranoid about whether Rachel would be beaten to death or not.

"Its cool, maybe later," he mumbled, ready to refocus on their activity before, "now, where was I?" Rachel laughed as he pushed her back down on the couch, resuming his mouth to her neck. A few more minutes passed, and just as Puck was about flip Rachel on top, he felt another thump against his abdomen.

"AH!"

He flew to the other end of the couch, terrified of what was happening to her.

"Rachel control that!"

"Oh stop," she said sitting up, "you're acting like a child!"

"Like a child?" Puck asked appalled, "Rachel I'm just concerned for you! I'm worried about your womb and what kind of condition they're leaving it in!" Rachel chunked a pillow at him, grabbing a blanket and covering herself up.

"I don't understand why it freaks you out, its just your children."

"Yeah, and they don't seem to like me very much." Rachel flashed him a confused stare and chunked another pillow at him.

"What in the world are you talking about?"

"Baby, every time I touch you they kick me. Every. Single. Time. They want me nowhere near you." He stopped abruptly then gasped, a new thought entering his head.

"Holy shit, I bet they're pissed cause I'm smacking them in the head!" Rachel now laughed at her husband, fully convinced he was delusional.

"What? This isn't funny Rachel!" he said seriously, "I could be causing permanent damage. What if they come out with dented heads or no eyes?"

"Or worse, with one eye like your baby doll." Rachel joked.

"Ok A, that's not funny, and B, you know I'm still upset because of that!" Rachel roared with laughter while Puck just stared, wondering what the hell had gotten into her.

"Noah, you're not poking our children in the head," she said after finally calming down, "not only are you flattering yourself, but its physically impossible." He scoffed as he slid down on the couch, taking some of her covers and throwing them on his self.

"I don't know why you had to go there with the physically impossible thing but whatever," he murmured. Rachel scooted down, wrapping her arms around him comfortingly.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry," she said as she rested her chin on his shoulder, "its just funny to see you flailing around, so scared of something so small." Puck looked at her, still pouting while he spoke.

"They don't like me. I made a deal with those two and this was NOT a part of our terms," he muttered while crossing his arms over his chest, "Which means they obviously don't like me or when I'm…you know…_with_ you."

"Noah that's not true and you know it," she said while rubbing his shoulders, "you're not damaging our children, swear. I think it's the opposite actually." Puck was confused yet again, looking to Rachel for an explanation.

"The babies have never moved before, not once have I felt them on my own. Now for the first time they move and its when I'm with you," she said gently, "I think they're excited that you're near them and they're just showing you the only way they can." Puck stared at his wife, finding her absolutely adorable.

"Even though you're probably just saying that, I'm totally gonna buy it," he said while leaning down to her stomach. Rachel ruffled his hair, laughing as he whispered to her belly.

"Besides, they have your DNA already so how much worse could it get?" Puck turned to her and began hitting her with the pillows she had tossed earlier.

"You think that's funny? You think that's funny?" Rachel laughed as he mounted her and continued to smother her, tickling her while she tried to fight him off.

"Truce! I call truce!" she said waving her hands. Puck pulled back, resting on his side as he rubbed her stomach.

"So, can we uh, finish now?" Rachel asked leaning towards him. Puck brushed his lips against hers and then smiled.

"No, I'm taking me and my DNA to bed. Goodnight mama." He got up and whistled as he climbed the stairs, leaving Rachel alone on the couch.

"Noah!"

"My bad," he shouted back, "good night babies!"


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks for the sweet reviews! Keep reading and reviewing, enjoy!

* * *

"I told you there's no need for this doctor's appointment babe, we know we're having two boys."

Rachel held Puck's hand as she rested on the exam table, waiting patiently for Dr. Marilyn to arrive. She was exactly twenty weeks, and the two parents would soon be finding out the sex of their twins.

"Noah you don't know that," she said dismissing him, "and don't joke about it, I told you that's not funny." Puck shrugged her off, resting in the chair beside her while playing with her hand.

"I'm just preparing you is all."

"Well I'm prepared to smack you if you keep running your mouth."

"Promise?" Rachel huffed while he smirked, enjoying his ability to get under her skin.

"I'm just ready to know so we can finally start picking out names," Rachel squeaked excitedly, "I already have a list of suitable and proper names."

"I already told you," Puck said shaking his head, "I refuse to father a kid named Prescott." Rachel dismissed him with her hand, running through a few boys names she already had in mind.

"Well first there's Brady-"

"-bunch? Pass-"

"-Heath-"

"-bar, damn I'm hungry-"

"-Ryder-"

"-ha, ladies man-"

"-and finally Vladimir."

"Uh, no. A, because I cant even spell that shit and B, because he sounds like a freakin vampire." Rachel rolled her eyes and started on her girl names, trying to ignore her husbands commentary.

"I've always loved Gwen-"

"-for too close to Quinn-"

"or maybe Layla-"

"-sounds like a prostitutes name. Like, "Yeah, I'll lay ya-"

"-Shiloh is really original-"

"-yeah, for a dog-"

"-but my heart is set on Charlotte."

"-I…actually I kinda like that." Rachel's eyes were wide as he said that, finally able to agree with her for once.

"Really? You actually like Charlotte?"

"Yeah, its cute. Plus I loved that book as a kid." Rachel awed as he brushed her away, wishing he hadn't of even said anything.

"That's adorable Noah."

"Yeah, yeah, fine. You're letting me pick boys names though, because fuck if I'm naming him Voldemort-"

"-Vladimir-"

"-what the hell ever." Rachel laughed and turned to face him, eager to hear his choices.

"Alright, what do you have?"

"Well," he said excitedly, "I've got two for a boy: Durden or Montana." Rachel was surprised at his choices, expecting something ridiculous like Optimus or Eastwood.

"That's actually not half bad," she said while he grinned, "though I'm not fond of naming our baby after a state."

"Its not! Its from Scarface, you know, Tony Montana!" Rachel sighed, knowing she should have seen that coming.

"Noah I don't find that appropriate for a baby."

"Well good thing he wont be a baby forever!" he argued.

"And let me guess, Durden is for Tyler Durden from Fight Club?"

"You remember!" he said while his face lit up, "Good for you mama!" Rachel just rolled back over, wondering if they would ever settle on a name. She heard the door to her room open suddenly and saw her doctor walk in.

"Mrs. Puckerman, how are we?"

"I'm great! Ready to find out if we're having daughters-"

"-or sons," Puck finished.

"Well alright, let's see what's going on." She grabbed the ultrasound machine and began setting it up, Puck making faces to Rachel while the doctor slathered her in gel.

"Now let's have a look." She began moving around on Rachel's stomach, the sight of their infants popping up on the screen.

"They're so big!" Rachel squealed, cooing as they moved around.

"Oh my," the doctor said as she smiled, "it looks like baby on the left, right here, is definitely a little boy." Puck had never shouted so loudly in his life, shooting out of his chair with his fists in the air. He howled whiled planting a huge kiss on Rachel and the doctor, catching them both off guard.

"Well," Dr. Marilyn blushed as he sat back down, "can't wait to see what happens if we have a girl." She began to move around once more, clicking on the machine and trying to find another angle.

"It's a little difficult to tell," she murmured while tilting her screen, "the baby has its back to me." Both parents leaned up and squinted, trying to make out what was what on the monitor.

"Clearly that's another penis."

"No Noah, clearly that's a foot."

"Baby, I know they're easy to confuse, but that's another boy." Dr. Marilyn continued to move around, trying to find another position for a better view.

"See here, the baby is turned and its little legs are shut tight-"

"-obviously your child Rach-"

"-and he or she just won't stop wiggling around-"

"-great, its already taking after you-"

"-so I'm sorry, but I can't tell you the sex."

Rachel and Puck groaned in unison, having anticipated this moment since the first day.

"So your saying we have a son-"

"-and an it?" Dr. Marilyn simply nodded, shutting off the machine and flicking the lights.

"For now, yes. You're due for another visit in a few weeks so maybe by then wiggly baby will have settled down." She waved goodbye and let Rachel dress, Puck grinning as a new thought popped up.

"Well obviously it's a girl," he said smiling.

"Wait, what?" Rachel asked confused while laughing, "I mean I hope so too, but you don't know that."

"Oh contraire," Puck said while leaning back in his chair, "I know its true, because only a girl would be such a tease." Rachel shot Puck a death glare, hitting him with her purse in his head.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," she snapped, "and if we're going down this road then obviously it's a boy, because he's too stubborn to stop wiggling around so we can see him!" Puck scoffed at her accusation, standing up and pointing to her stomach.

"Didn't you hear? Wiggly had its back turned, obviously she's having a mood swing and decided, "Like, screw this!" he said while giving Rachel the hand and imitating a valley girl.

"Uh, no, because any daughter of mine would love to be on camera!" Rachel shot back.

"Baby, did you see what my son was sporting on the screen? Any boy of mine is gonna show that thing with pride." Rachel just stared at her husband, wondering if he ever thought before he spoke.

"You are truly unbelievable," she said while opening the door to leave.

"Aw, thanks babe."

* * *

Rachel laid in bed later that night, reading her child development book while Puck played with her stomach. He had one of his old Matchbox cars in his hand and was rolling it across her stomach, making rumbling noises and brake sounds as he scooted it along.

"Having fun?" Rachel asked over the top of her reading glasses.

"Actually, I am," he said while he drove it over her belly button, " and I'm teaching them about their daddy's job as well, so ha!" She giggled and continued reading, Puck entertaining himself with the toy.

"And what if the other baby is a girl? Why would she want to play cars?"

"Because," he said while holding the toy up, "its pink. Yeah, your welcome." He laid the car back down on her tummy, only to feel a thump from the other side.

"Hey girl hey!" Puck called while tapping back, "see, she likes it." Rachel moaned as she rolled over.

"All the time with the kicking," she mumbled as she rubbed her stomach, "Wiggles just wont stop moving, ever."

"Maybe it's pissed cause you ate those tacos earlier." Rachel flashed him a pouty face while shifting to get comfortable.

"But I was hungry! And if it was that then I'd feel little feet on the other side." Puck shrugged as he rubbed her stomach, the constant patter against his right hand making him laugh. He rubbed the spot gently and began humming a random tune in his head, surprised to feel that the tapping slowed down.

"You feel that?" he asked looking to Rachel. She nodded while sitting up, placing her hand near his.

"Do it again," she said excitedly. Puck once again began humming, the movement against his hand slowly stopping.

"Sing something," Rachel insisted, feeling relief in her abdomen for the first time in weeks. Puck racked his brain for an appropriate song, seeing as Rachel vetoed any and every Kiss song, finally picking one and singing.

"Blessed" had been one of Rachel's favorite songs as a kid. Her dads had raised her on Elton John, always singing the song to her and dancing with her. Puck knew she loved it, so he softly sang the words as he continued to rub her belly. When he finished the patter had stopped, Rachel laying back in amazement and peace.

"You're pretty adorable, you know that?" she asked while he eased his way beside her.

"Eh, I have my moments," he muttered back. They laid there in silence, Rachel finally able to rest without a constant disruption and Puck able to sleep with thumps against his back.

"Hey mama," Puck whispered in the dark.

"Yeah Noah?"

"I hope it's a little girl too."


	18. Chapter 18

I was inspired by a comment from iamladyliberty asking how Rachel and Puck got together. I decided what the hell, lets make it fun and show that maybe Rachel Berry wasn't always so uptight. Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Noah, do my ankles look fat?"

Rachel was now trying on her seventh dress, spinning around in the mirror while badgering Puck with questions. They were heading to his moms for a family dinner, his other relatives finally getting to see Rachel and her baby bump, making her nervous about her looks. His wife had spent the whole day trying on dress after dress after dress, asking for commentary from Puck about her boobs and butt. While Puck knew she just wanted to make a good impression, he had quickly lost interest in her outfit choices when she vetoed his bikini suggestion.

"Noah?" she asked while interrupting his thoughts, "My ankles?"

Puck had no clue how your ankles could look bigger, or how a dress could "emphasize" this, but apparently there was a way and Rachel wanted to avoid it at all costs.

"No babe, your ankles are the sexiest ankles I've ever seen," he said awkwardly, wondering if she would buy that or not.

"Well, I just, I mean does red make the seem more bloated?" she asked pointing down.

"No, they're so un-bloated its like they're anorexic," he said confidently, sure he had finally ended their discussion.

"So I look anorexic?" she asked concerned, turning sharply in the mirror to check her appearance.

"No, gah, baby I'm just saying-"

"-because the last thing I need is your mother to say I'm not eating enough-"

"-she wouldn't do that, she knows you're eating plenty-"

"-oh so now I'm fat-"

"-NO! I'm just saying-"

"-so I'm anorexic and then obese, Noah please make up your mind!" Puck sat down on his bed and shoved his head in his hands, resisting his urge to yell at her and his twins for toying with their mothers emotions.

"Sweetie," he said calmly, trying to hide the anger in his voice, "You look stunning in anything. Everything you've tried on has made me want to throw you on the bed and ravish you. I love the dress you have on now and I love your ankles, more so when they're behind your ears, but they're just as nice in those shoes." Rachel continued to stare in the mirror, nodding her head and smiling.

"I think I'll wear the blue one," she said while grabbing it off the chair.

"Honey, is uh, is that the first dress you tried on?"

"I…oh yeah, you're right!" she laughed, heading into the bathroom to change, "Funny how that works." Puck looked up to the ceiling and shook his head, calling on anyone to listen.

"I'll name my kids Schwartz and Stein if you would please, please control this broad before I send her into premature labor."

* * *

"Noah! Rachel!"

Rachel and Puck sat at his mother's table, surrounded by about a dozen relatives surrounding them. Things had been going smoothly, Rachel even getting complimented on her dress by his cousin.

"So, you're having a boy and an it?"

"Yeah, that's what they tell us," Rachel laughed while sipping her water, "so hopefully when we go back we'll find out then."

"Nonsense," his aunt said while pointing her fork at Rachel, "you can tell by how you carry." Rachel looked down at her stomach and back to his aunt, confused as to what she meant.

"They say if you carry low, it's a boy, and if you carry high, it's a girl."

"Rita she's having twins, that wont work," Puck's mom disputed.

"No, no, no, the way you tell is your cravings," his cousin chimed in, "If you want sweets it's a girl, but if you want sour things it's a boy. What have you been eating lately?" Rachel looked terrified to answer, gulping her water and barely opening her mouth.

"Well, I-I like cookie dough," she said skittishly.

"There you have it, its girls."

"Except they know one of them is a boy imbecile," his grandma said while smacking his cousin, "Now here's the test: sex." Rachel gripped Puck's hand tightly, as if cutting off his circulation would shut up his family members.

"I'm sorry grandma, what?" Puck asked while stifling a laugh.

"Oh yeah," she said as she sipped her wine, "in twins, if the women is more uh, aroused, then they're the same sex. If not, they're different." Puck had vomited in his mouth as his grandma said "aroused," fielding the question to Rachel while he drained his cup.

"So?" she said to Rachel, "Which one is it?" The family turned to Rachel, actually expecting her to answer.

"I, well uh," she laughed nervously, "I don't really know if I'm comfortable with that, I mean-"

"Its totally two boys," Puck chimed in, turning Rachel's face red as his grandma laughed.

"Oh my, well," she said getting up, "I hadn't expected that." Puck had to stifle another laugh as his wife punched him, his family now buzzing over the latest revelation.

"So how did you two even meet in the first place?" his younger cousin asked, saving Rachel from further embarrassment and changing the topic.

"Oh, well uh high school," she said smiling, grateful for the young girl and making a note to buy her a huge Hanukah present.

"Aw, so you two are high school sweethearts?"

"Er, not quite," Puck said while coughing, "we actually got together after high school."

"Oh…well why didn't you date in high school?" Puck looked to Rachel and saw her leaning back in her seat, now letting Puck get drilled by his family.

"Well, we were really different in high school," Puck said slowly, "we uh, didn't really hang out much."

"And by that he means the only interaction we had being a daily slushy in my face," Rachel snapped.

"Noah! That's terrible!" his mother snapped.

"Yeah Noah, that's a waste of money!" his aunt said.

"Of course you went there," he muttered, "and yes, I know it wasn't very gentlemanly, but we got past that."

"How?"

"Well after a year or two-"

"-and my boobs got bigger and his ego got smaller-"

"-I saw Rachel again at a friends party-"

"-I never did punch Finn for that-"

"-we started talking-"

"-I started drinking-"

"-and after a lot of catching up-"

"-and too much tequila-"

"-she agreed to go out with me."

"-I blacked out. I remember nothing." Puck glared at his wife as she munched on her food, taking every jab at Puck she could.

"So then you started dating?"

"Ha, if you wanna call sleep-"

"Yeah!" Puck interrupted while stepping on her toe, "we did."

"Oh…," his cousin said confused, "Sounds…nice." Puck and Rachel sat awkwardly beside one another, Rachel ready to kill him while Puck planned to burn her Streisand collection.

* * *

"I don't know what you want from me!"

Rachel had not let his comment from dinner go, yelling at him the whole way home and up the stairs.

"I want you to stick up for me when I'm being badgered!" He groaned as he shoved his toothbrush into the stand, walking to his bed and finding his wife pouting.

"Baby really? Badgering?" he asked while crawling in, "She's like eighty, she wont even remember she ate dinner tonight." Rachel continued to scowl in her spot, ignoring her husband while he tried to get back in her good graces.

"Well I-I wished you wouldn't have said anything," she grumbled, "now they think I'm a sex freak."

"And they're wrong?" he asked while raising an eyebrow, "Honey, we spent the first eight hours of our honeymoon on a chair." Rachel shot him a dirty look while rolling over, fed up with his comments.

"And you know, you're not the only one pissed," he whined while tugging the covers, "You basically told everyone the only reason you married me was because I got you drunk." Rachel shot up and turned to him.

"You asked me in Cabo! I was in a bikini, you had on a sombrero, you hid the ring in my burrito!" Puck flashed back to his proposal, laughing as he recalled her answer.

"Oh yeah, you had just gotten done flashing me and I-"

"Not the point the Noah!" He sighed as he slumped down beside her.

"Well, I don't regret it, maybe the way I did it, but I don't regret a minute of being with you." He felt her shift and touch his arm, sitting up while she sighed.

"I don't either Noah," she said softly, "sure, I wish we hadn't of celebrated by singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart," but you know, at least our story is unique." He nodded while pecking her forehead, happy she wasn't going to stab him in his sleep.

"But Noah, please don't tell my kids I went wild in college. I just cant have people knowing Rachel Berry didn't abstain from inappropriate desires, it'll make me a hypocrite when I tell them not to drink. Or make a sex tape."

"Well I think thats just another wonderful part of you...the wild thing...I mean the sex tape too but...anyways, deal. But you have to promise to never tell our kids I wore a sombrero. I just cant come back from that."

"Swear," she said as she locked her pinky with his. They rolled over to sleep when Puck called out.

"Hey mama."

"Yeah Noah?"

"You uh...you think we can make another one of those tapes?"


	19. Chapter 19

Hope you still enjoy! Keep reading and reviewing, thanks again!

* * *

"Noah it wasn't funny!"

Rachel and Puck had been celebrating their three year anniversary, Puck taking Rachel out to dinner and then around to all her favorite little spots. While walking around town, a passerby had pulled Rachel aside to let her know that she was wearing mismatched shoes, one black and one blue, causing Rachel to cry the rest of the way home.

"I told you sweetie, I didn't know, swear!" Puck said defensively while sliding off his tie, "I don't notice things like that!"

"So when I walked down the stairs and said, "Tah dah! How do I look?" you lied?"

"No," Puck groaned, "because honestly I was looking at the other end of you body alright? If you wanted someone to judge your shoes then you should have married Kurt in college." Rachel glared daggers in his direction, kicking off the blue shoe and attempting to pick it up. At six and a half months Rachel already had quite the bump, something Puck hadn't realized could be such a hindrance. She grunted and cursed as she tried to pick it up, having every intention of chunking it at her husband.

"I, er, well, damn it!" she shouted in frustration, giving up and falling onto the bed, "I'll throw it at you later!" Puck laughed while he sat beside her, rubbing her shoulders and cooing in her ear.

"Baby, come on," he said while sliding his hands under her dress straps, "I don't wanna fight with you, not on a night like this. Lets just celebrate and forget this whole mess." He began to place small kisses on her neck, trying his best to change the subject.

"I'm sorry Noah, I just feel crazy lately," she said while leaning her head on his, "I didn't realize how much trouble this thing would be."

"Trouble?" Puck asked while staring at her, and rubbing her belly "Honey do you realize how handy this is? Not only does it hold my cereal bowl in the mornings, but I get a mini massage every night from those little feet in there!" Rachel giggled as he rattled off a list of things he loved about her pregnancy, trying his hardest to make her feel better.

"As if that wasn't enough, those," he said while pointing to her chest, "Oh yes, I support those more than any bra could." Rachel playfully smacked him as she kissed his lips, pulling him down so they could really celebrate their anniversary.

He began to climb on top, knowing her bump would be in the way but figuring he could move around it. He tried to ease his way directly on it, then decided against it tried another way. After ten minutes of confusion, Puck peered over her stomach, hoping Rachel wouldn't get her feelings hurt when he told her his problem.

"Rach," he said softly, "I'm uh, I'm finding it hard to, well uh, mount you."

"Oh," Rachel said while peering down, "here just put my legs like this-"

"Ow!" Puck said as her heel smacked him in the face.

"Oh honey I'm sorry!" Rachel shouted while trying to comfort him, struggling to push herself, "I didn't-"

"No I know, gah, we're good babe, we're good!" Puck pulled his hand back to reveal a read and watering eye, making Rachel gasp as she saw a red ring forming around it.

"Noah, that looks awful!" she squealed while trying to touch it but he pushed her hand away, "I'm fine, I'm fine, lets just go with it." He slid her legs around his waist and tried to position Rachel the way she had wanted him to.

"You good?"

"Yeah, but your digging yours nails into my hips-"

"-sorry! Hey babe, move your-"

"-what, here?-"

"-no, put them on my shoulder-WATCH MY OTHER EYE!-"

"-sorry!"

After a few moments, Puck realized he was slowly losing vision in his now swollen eye, hoping it didn't look as bad as it felt. He was trying hard to focus, but between Rachel legs and his throbbing face, he could no longer tell which body part belonged to who.

"Noah?" he heard from the other end of the bed. He saw Rachel moving and sitting up, her face disgusted by his.

"I feel distant from you," she said while motioning to their position, "this isn't love making, this is just screwing."

"Ok, well, do you wanna get on top?" he asked relieved, knowing if she took over he could relax and not have to worry about which what was going where and getting yelled at for another "slip." Rachel looked horrified by the suggestion though, shaking her head and grimacing.

"Noah, no!" she whispered while lightly smacking him, "I can't ride you like that, you may get lost underneath and be crushed to death!"

"Sweetie please," Puck said laying back, "you won't crush me alright? Besides, you like to dominate me anyways."

"No!" Rachel squealed while pushing him, "I already took out that child earlier, all I need to do is squash my husband too!"

"Baby," Puck said gently, knowing he had to be very careful how he approached this, "A, that kid ran into you, he deserved to be flung to the ground by Mount Everest. B, you aren't going to crush me, I'm a man, I can handle all you've got to offer." Rachel seemed to be thinking it over, finally switching places and lightly straddling him.

"Alright, but if it gets to be too much-"

"-you're not too much, you're perfect."

Puck couldn't lie, pregnancy looked good on Rachel. Her hormones raged, her skin literally glowed, and her chest was out of this world. While she was always tender and insisting her bra stay on, Puck had been enjoying her new body and the view of it he had right now. He slipped his hands on her back to steady her, thinking they had finally solved their problem when Rachel groaned.

"That's a new noise, but I can dig," he muttered, feeling an absence where she had been.

"I can't do this," she said laying beside him, "I feel like a freak. My boobs are literally smacking me in the face and sometimes when I look down I can't even see you."

"I'm good with it!" Puck said defensively, "Here, I'll even hold them down for you-"

"-back away!" Rachel snapped, swatting at him before he neared her breasts, "and besides, I feel like I'm assaulting you."

"But I like it, assault me again!" Puck insisted while trying to refocus her attention.

"Noah-"

"-I'm cool with getting a little weird, no goats or guys though-"

"-Noah-"

"-cause I just can't do a dude-"

"NOAH!"

"Fine, roll on your side," Puck said as he wrapped his hands around her stomach and pulled her close, "try to spice up my marriage and suddenly I'm the bad guy." He awkwardly began to spoon with Rachel, something he had never understood and only seen on Lifetime.

"You good?" she called while getting settled.

"Yeah," he muttered blandly, pissed because he had totally lost his view of her rack but making the best of the moment. He could feel Rachel relax against him and he finally found his groove again, almost ready when his wife interrupted him once more.

"Ugh, switch," he heard Rachel call, pulling away from him again.

"What is it now babe?" he bit out, trying not to grow impatient with his wife.

"Well now all my weight is shifted to this one side and it hurts," she whimpered.

"Fine, we'll just do it from behind," he said casually, wondering if his wife knew how lucky she was to have a husband with such stamina.

"Noah that's so…bestial," she said grimacing, "I feel like I'm some cheap prostitute or something."

"What would you know about cheap prostitutes?" Puck asked grinning, "Did someone read my letter to Santa?"

"Noah be serious," she scowled, "I just feel too dirty doing that."

"Gr, alright, sit in my lap." Rachel flashed him a look, wondering what he was planning to do with her.

"Come on, I saw this in a movie before and it works."

"Oh I bet," Rachel said while crawling on him, "which one was it, Chitty Chitty Gang Bang?"

"No, actually, I'll have you know it was a classic." Rachel furrowed her brow and crossed her arms, knowing her husband all too well.

"And which classic would this be?"

"Great Expectations," he shot back, "…well it was Great Sexpectations, but you get the gist." Rachel just shook her head while she followed his instructions, sitting Indian style with her legs around her husband. He was happy again, seeing as her rack was back but only a few minutes passed before Rachel was complaining.

"My stomach keeps hitting yours, its gross," she said while looking down, "I feel like Kathy Bates." Puck now had an image in his head that he wasn't too excited about, resting his forehead on her shoulder while growling.

"Rachel I don't know what you want," he said while shaking his head, "ok, I do, but I don't know how you want me to give it to you." Rachel fell back against the bed, taking the pillow and smothering herself.

"I just wanna have these babies already," she murmured into the pillow.

"And I just wanna get laid, but as you can see things aren't really playing in our favor." The two laid on the bed, each grumbling to themselves.

"Noah," Rachel said finally.

"Yeah mama?"

"Sorry about nailing your eye."

"It's fine, sorry about not being able to nail you." Rachel shrugged, scooting closer and wrapping his arms around her.

"I am physically impossible," she said sadly, "this is humiliating." Puck was determined, grabbing the remote off the TV and quickly flipping through the channels.

"We're going to make this happen," he said fiercely.

"Noah this is no time for cable," Rachel said while sitting up, "I mean I like Friends as much as the next person but-" she stopped quickly and gasped, horrified by what was on her screen.

"Noah Puckerman! Turn that off this instant!" He had found and rented an adult film, pointing to it and showing Rachel a move.

"We can so do that, see!" he said excitedly, "all you have to do is move your-"

"Noah no!" she said while shielding her eyes, "I'm positive that's illegal!"

"Not in the south," he said shrugging, "Look, either you work with me or your gonna be spending the next few months alone, and you and I both know its already hard for you to reach it." Rachel stared Puck down, half of her embarrassed and the other half excited.

"Fine," she snapped. She finally faced the TV, watching in awe as the scene played out.

"Wow," she said astonished, "look at them go."

"Right?" Puck asked sitting beside her, "I mean I'm a beast but even I'm impressed." They began to tilt their heads in unison, both trying to figure out what was happening.

"Does that really happen?"

"Totally, but you have to work at it."

"Huh, I never realized."

"I can show you."

"Maybe later, right now I'm focused on her boobs, are those real?"

"No way, and yours are totally better."

"Aw, thanks Noah."

The two continued to watch until Rachel finally sat up, an idea sparking in her head.

"The pool!" she said excitedly, inspired by the scene that was now playing, "The pool! It takes the weight and pressure off my stomach!" She grabbed her suitcase and pulled out their swim suits, flinging Puck his while changing.

"Are you serious?" he asked in amazement, shocked that his wife would even think off venturing in public, "I mean Rachel Berry could get caught."

"Please, after those shenanigans at the doctors office, I expect nothing less from you. And thats Rachel Puckerman to you."


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Hope you still enjoy and thanks again!

* * *

"Where the hell are we supposed to put all this crap?"

Puck looked around his living room, horrified by the stacks and piles of presents. He and Rachel had just finished having their third baby shower where they had received everything times two, from diapers and bottles to two cribs and a doublestroller. While he was more than appreciative for the sweet gestures, he was positive the baby room would burst from all the new items.

"Noah its not crap and there's another three bags of it in the car," Rachel sighed as she dragged a box behind her.

"Hey, no no no!" Puck said as he made his way to her, "You're not supposed to be moving heavy things, my job." He grabbed the box from her and pulled it away, motioning for Rachel to sit on the sofa.

"Well that's very sweet of you, but I'm not helpless Noah," she said as she dismissed his hands, making her way back to their car.

"Uh, I'm actually less concerned with you and more concerned with the kids," he joked as he gently pushed her down.

"Just when I think you're being sweet," she muttered while he grabbed the rest of the gifts.

"I mean honestly, do we really need baby food freezer trays?" he asked while holding up the box.

"Noah I don't know what we'll need! But wont it be nice to have it in case?"

"Yeah, it'd also be nice to move around our house too," he mumbled while setting the items down. The two began sorting through the boxes and bags, deciding what belonged in the nursery and what would be stored for later.

"The hell is this?" Puck asked while holding up a purple box, "Like a workout for your infant?"

"It's a jumper!" she said excitedly while opening it up, "see you hang this in a doorway and then your baby sits inside and bounces. It helps with movement and strengthening their little legs." Puck continued examining the toy, imagining his baby being catapulted across the room from the sling shot looking device.

"Moving on," he said while opening the next bag.

"Oh my goodness, Noah look at this!" He turned to see Rachel holding up a head to toe blue onesie with elephants and giraffes covering it.

"I mean isn't that precious!" she squealed. Puck groaned as she turned it to reveal a zebra face as the bottom of the outfit, knowing he would never put his kid in something so stupid.

"Rachel that's humiliating," he said as he flicked it out of her hands, "My kids not gonna have a zebra on his ass."

"Noah he's a baby! He wont even know what he has on!"

"I will!" he said defensively, "and when he grows up and looks at pictures of a zoo running rampant on him he's gonna say, "Dad, what the hell? Why didn't you have my back?" and I'm gonna have to say, "Cause your mom kept covering it in safaris." Rachel just stared at Puck as he finished his rant, withholding her comment and picking up another bag.

"I think these are the pacifiers and bibs, these can go in the nursery as well," she said while adding it to the pile.

"Ok now this, this is awesome!" Rachel looked up to find Puck holding two pairs of little black converses, clicking them together while grinning like a child.

"Who got these cause I'm personally writing their thank you card." Rachel looked through the bag and found it to be from his mom, surprising Puck when she told him.

"Woman's a saint I tell you," he said as he set them in his lap, holding onto them so they weren't lost. He was about to open his next box when loud singing filled the living room, scaring Puck shitless as he kicked it away.

"What the hell? What is that?" he asked while grabbing Rachel's knee.

"Oh Noah its just the activity table," she said while pulling it out of the box, "See, you sit the baby in here and then they spin themselves around and can play with the different stations." Puck pressed one of the green buttons, watching as the toy glowed and began singing. He chuckled before hitting the next one, now becoming entertained himself.

"Noah," Rachel called, her husband completely tuning her out as he flicked tiny beads across the table.

"Uh, Noah," she said again but he had now begun playing with the yellow piano. She couldn't help but laugh as he rattled a small flower, realizing she had also found Puck a new toy.

"As cute as this is," she said while scooting it away, "we still have to sort through these. I promise though, I'll find you something else to play with ok?" Puck pouted as she handed him a different box, hearing him grumble when he opened it to only find diapers.

"We really need to find out the sex of wiggles," Rachel said as she opened another box of blue clothing, "I want to know before we paint the room."

"Why can't we just paint it blue?" Puck asked while shaking a rattle.

"Noah please! We have to be fair if it's a girl."

"Who says girls don't like blue?" he asked defensively, "I mean I think that's kinda sexist saying girls can't like a certain color." Rachel was shocked by his accusation, not only because he called her sexist, but because he had actually used the term correctly.

"I'll have you know that I am not sexist!" she said angrily, "and if you're all about being fair then why not paint the room pink?"

"Because pinks a terrible color!" he shot back quickly, "It looks like cotton candy exploded and I feel physically ill at the sight of it." Rachel scowled while he began opening a new bag, pulling out blocks and stacking them up.

"We could paint it yellow, that's very gender neutral," Rachel said softly while folding a few onsies.

"Ew," Puck moaned while knocking the blocks down, "you ever met a dude who's just crazy about yellow? I mean seriously, it looks like puke. I could vomit on the wall in the kitchen and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference."

"You said you liked that color!" Rachel scoffed while throwing a pair of booties at him, "you said it was relaxing!"

"Baby I say a lot of things," Puck smirked while stacking his blocks back up, "I just wanted you to move in with me, I didn't give a rats ass what the place looked like." Rachel sighed while Puck laughed, taking her foot and kicking over his pyramid.

"Not cool ma, not cool," he said while putting them back in the bag, "we're so not playing together when the twins get here." She snickered as she continued opening boxes and bags, her trying to arrange them while Puck would take every opportunity to play with them. After he managed to wear the batteries down in a toy car Rachel refused to let him touch anything else, sentencing him to folding baby clothes and towels.

"Fine," he said angrily while shoving two little socks together, "you're just letting me preview all the clothes our kids will not wear." Rachel pretended to ignore him while pulling the last box to her, realizing it was unopened with no card.

"Did you see this one?" she asked while showing it to Puck. He looked up quickly then back down, shaking his head before answering.

"Nope, open it up though and see what it is." She tore the silver paper off and slid the lid open, pushing the tissue paper back to reveal a baby book. The front was white and soft, with the front slot holding a sonogram picture from their last appointment. She was speechless as she opened it up, seeing a picture of her and Puck on the first page with a tiny inscription he had written to the twins.

"Noah," she gasped while reading the page, "did you-did you make this?"

"Yeah," he mumbled shyly while tinkering with another toy, "I just thought they should have one." She continued to flip through the pages, seeing that he had already filled out the information about their family tree and Rachel's due date. She laughed at the pictures he had chosen of them, groaning when she realized one was from Cabo.

"Noah this is," she tried to say as a few tears welled up in her eyes, "this is the best thing you've ever done for me." He shrugged casually and continued to play with a few stuffed animals, as if he was embarrassed at his ability to be sweet.

"Its not a big deal," he murmured as she slid off the couch to sit beside him, "just hope you like it."

"I love it!" she said while hugging him, "I mean that picture not so much, but this whole thing is so thoughtful and adorable." She pecked him on the cheek while he bundled up a blanket and softly laid it in a stack, reaching for the next before Rachel stopped him.

"Here," she sighed as she slid the activity table back to him, watching as he raised his eyebrows and began pressing the buttons again.

"My three babies," she giggled as she walked upstairs, leaving Puck to entertain himself while she organized their nursery.


	21. Chapter 21

Thanks for the great reviews! I appreciate them all so keep it up!

* * *

"And we breathe in, and now we breathe out, in, out, in, out."

Puck took a deep breath in, holding it for a moment before pushing it out. He went to take another but he was interrupted, receiving a smack in his abdomen from Rachel.

"You're distracting me!" she whispered while adjusting herself on the mat, "I can't focus on my breathing because I'm too busy listening to yours!" Puck and Rachel were in their Lamaze class, finally returning to the birthing center despite the fiasco with the dolls. Puck had shelled out for replacements, claiming he had lost them on accident. Needless to say, their counselor kept her eye on him constantly, always wary when he was close.

"Well I'm just trying to prepare for your labor of love!" he said dismissing her, "My bad for being supportive."

"Supportive, yes, but pretending you have a vagina? Turn off."

"Ok I didn't know that, "imagine your flower expanding" was lingo for birth canal so cut me some slack."

"Shut up Noah!"

"Suck it mama!"

"Now!" they heard the instructor shout from the front of the room, glaring daggers at the two while she moved on, "Now that we have our breathing down, we need to find our focus objects. Having something to concentrate on can often help redirect your mind off of the pain, and more on the mission at hand."

"Mission?" Puck asked while chuckling, "makes it sound like some sort of Mission Impossible shit."

"You know what's about to be impossible? Your ability to produce more children if you keep running your mouth."

"Baby save the dirty talk for the boudoir, its inappropriate in public."

"Pig."

"Blimp."

"Focus!" the instructor yelled while staring them down again, everyone in the room finding an object in front of them and focusing.

"Can I veto my focus object?"

"What now Noah?" Rachel asked while looking up, seeing Puck staring ahead and grimacing.

"That dudes ass is my focus object. I'm sorry, but I just can't successfully deliver if I'm nauseous." Puck suddenly felt Rachel's grip on his hands harden, her nails now digging into his flesh.

"Asserting your anger sweetie, your asserting your anger again!"

"Listen to me, and listen to me carefully," she growled menacingly, "I'm sweating more than Robin Williams, my belly and ass now have their own moon, and I'm not even sure I have feet anymore. I don't walk I wobble and the only thing I think about anymore is the when I can eat and the different ways to kill you in your sleep."

"Baby!" Puck gasped, "That's so Kurt Cobain of you!"

"Oh yeah, and so far the best one involves dull scissors and a wood chipper, so keep running your mouth and I swear to God you won't wake up with balls." Puck had never been afraid of his wife or her threats, but there was something glinting in her eye that actually terrified him.

"Well then, while I enjoyed Rosemary's Baby I refuse to live it, so I'm just gonna go-

"-no! No, no, no you're not!" Rachel said as she tugged him down, "You're gonna support my weight-"

"-sweetie I don't know if I can-"

"-and you're gonna hold my hands-"

"-but I might not get mine back-"

"-and you're gonna encourage me and smile, got it?" She flashed him a grin, nodding while resuming her breathing.

"I knew wiggles was a girl," he mumbled while sitting back down, "and ever since we found that out you've been crazy-"

"-because I'm still married to you!" Puck furrowed his brow while looking down at Rachel, flicking her in the forehead and quickly grabbing her hands so she couldn't retaliate.

"I am so not singing to the babies tonight."

"You have to!" Rachel almost shouted, "You know I can't sleep when they move and they don't move when you sing!"

"No, I'm not having you pimp me out for my vocals," he said angrily, "Not after you've threatened my life and my balls." Rachel grumbled while the two continued their breathing, her digging in her nails whenever she could and Puck poking fun at the mismatched socks he had put on her.

"Now exhale, marvelous!" the instructor called out, "Let's take a break and regroup in five for our video segment." Puck watched as Rachel tried to push herself up, struggling and falling back into his lap.

"Need help?"

"I got it!" she snapped. He stifled his laugh when she fell again, forcing his hands behind her and pushing.

"Thanks," she groaned, "but I almost had it."

"No, yeah I could tell," he said while standing up. She crossed her arms over her chest, turning away and pretending to look at a baby poster.

"Honey," Puck said sweetly, "would you like some water?" She glanced at him from the corner of her eye, nodding lightly and murmuring a thanks.

"Alright, but can I hold your cross necklace first? I need to stick it in the cup in order to make holy water." The smack he received from Rachel echoed throughout the room, Puck's arm swelling red as he tried to defend himself.

"I-uh, excuse me? Is there a problem?" The instructor had walked back in the room to see Rachel smacking Puck with her Lamaze mat, the class watching in amusement as she cornered him.

"What? Oh yes!" Rachel smiled fakely, "Just uh, just playing around!"

"Right…anyways I thought we could move on to our video segment, so everyone gather around." Puck trailed behind Rachel, his eyes on her nails as they took their seats.

"I borrowed this from my friend and I find that it's the perfect example of birth and its true form, so relax and enjoy." Puck slid the Lamaze mat from beside Rachel, folding the weapon up into a makeshift pillow and leaning against it. He decided he had earned a nap, the life of an abuse victim exhausting. He had almost dozed off when his head smacked against the chair he was leaning on, opening his eyes to find Rachel having taken the mat back.

"Hey, Linda Blair," he whispered, "give me that back!"

"Watch the movie Noah," she bit out through her clenched jaw. Puck mocked her but turned his focus to the screen, seeing a couple in a car talking about their impending delivery.

"What is this?" he asked leaning towards Rachel, "Like the pregnant version of Paranormal Activity?"

"I don't know Noah, lets find out together!" he sighed but obliged, watching as the couple were now in a delivery room.

"Should we do that?" he asked leaning towards her again, "I mean do you want it filmed? Maybe do it Tarantino style and film it in reverse or something?" Rachel just stared, Puck knowing he would pay later for his shenanigans.

"That's a no then?" Rachel turned to the screen, watching the woman pushing and completely ignoring her husband.

"More like a hell no, alright." Puck turned to the TV and saw the doctor beginning to pull the stirrups out from the sides.

"Holy shit that tables a freaking Transformer!" Puck said excitedly, "Look see!" The camera then begin to zoom in and Puck grimaced at what he saw.

"God damn!" he shouted, the other parents turning to see him repulsed, "What is that?"

"Noah she's in labor!" Rachel hissed, smacking him while he grimaced.

"Yeah but what's it doing- what the hell!" He watched in horror as she pushed, Rachel too now staring stunned at the screen.

"Why is it ripping her apart like that?" she asked as she grabbed his hand.

"I don't know but he is pissed about something!" The two continued staring, Puck unable to make out what body part belonged to who and Rachel squeezing her legs together as tight as she could.

"Noah I can't do that," Rachel said frantically, "I can't-I can't do that! I'm not, that's just, why is everything wet!"

"Dude on the real, this looks like the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan," Puck muttered while wrapping his arm around her, "You get so much street cred right now." Rachel buried her face in her hands, squinting through her fingers while the woman on screen gave one big final push.

"Yahtzee!" Puck hollered out while shooting a fist in the air, watching as they cleaned the infant off, "Oh my kid's is waaaay bigger." He watched as they took the baby and wrapped it up, handing it to the new mom. She was crying, cooing and laughing, as if she hadn't just had a semi come barreling out of her body.

"Hey babe look," Puck said while pointing, "she's looks ecstatic now." Rachel finally turned to see the happy couple, giggling with their new born baby boy.

"Oh yeah, now!" she said while turning away, "Her ass only had to explode in order to do so!" Puck laughed at Rachel's face, not expecting her to be so skittish.

"Come on mama, you can do that," he said while brushing her hair out of her face, "You're unstoppable." Rachel still seemed unconvinced, not saying anything while they got ready to leave.

"Maybe they'll fall out on their own," she said optimistically, "We'll just wake up and they'll be waiting at the bottom of the bed."

"That's just really creepy," Puck said while frowning, "and besides, I might accidentally punt one to the floor in the middle of the night." They made their way to the truck, Rachel blabbing away about different ways to deliver.

"Just do a Cesarean then," Puck said while cranking up the truck.

"Noah no!" Rachel said hotly, "I refuse to have any type of drugs in me during delivery!"

"Well then that's what's gonna happen sweetie, so you better prep your flower." Rachel stared out of the window, mumbling under her breath as he drove them home. Before she got out Puck stopped her, pulling her back for a moment.

"You really shouldn't worry Rachel," he said sweetly, "You worked this hard to conceive those babies and you'll work even harder to birth them. I know how strong you are and I hope you do too." Rachel smiled as she pecked his cheek, patting his hand while climbing out.

"You know you're not half bad sometimes," she laughed while walking into their house.

"So then you won't pinch me for the blimp comment?"

"Nah," she said while climbing the stairs, "I'll just do weird things to you in your sleep."

"Ooh, this could work," he grinned, "Oh but first, come here." He pulled Rachel's hand and drug her down the hall, towards the nursery and lightly opening the door.

"You kept yelling about all the blue so…" He opened the door and flicked on the light, Rachel finding a tiny pink dress hanging from one of the cribs. It was frilly, lacey, covered in bows and had matching booties: everything she wanted for a little girl.

"Aw Noah!" she squealed while picking it up, "Its precious!"

"Well, I figured if I cant stand it then its perfect." Rachel lifted up the frills to find matching pink bloomers, cooing as she saw the little flowers.

"I love it!" she said while hanging it back on the crib, "I cant wait to see our little girl in it."

"Wait what?" Puck asked, "I bought it, isn't that enough? I mean we don't have to actually put her in it do we?"

"Yes," Rachel said while turning to him, "but I'll make you a deal. You sing tonight and I'll only make her wear it when we bring her home, deal?"

"Deal," he said while linking his pinky in hers.

"Thank you Noah."

"Love you mama."


	22. Chapter 22

"Now move it over there. Little more. Little more. Perfect!"

Puck had been moving furniture all freaking day, Rachel having gone into full blown nesting. She had been put on bed rest, seeing as she was two weeks from her due date and already having light contractions, forcing Puck to do all the work himself. She had started with the nursery, making Puck move the cribs from one side of the room to the other, then back again. She then had him readjust the mobiles, reorganize the changing table, and rebuild one of the cribs because it looked "unstable." He was now in their room, Rachel propped up on the bed while he moved around the bookshelf.

"Now the dresser," she said pointing, "I want it beside the closet door."

"Can I ask why?" Puck bit out through his clenched jaw, sweating and exhausted from all the work.

"Well the edges are sharp and stick out, I don't want one of us to bump into one while holding the babies."

"And what? Drop the thing?"

"Noah don't joke about that!" she said while knocking on the wooden side table, "I'm just saying! And it's a baby, not a football." Puck went to argue but bit his tongue, knowing she would win no matter what.

"Now after that I'd like you to help move me down to the living room, we need to figure out where we're putting the baby bouncers and such."

"Nuh uh, you're not moving anywhere."

"Noah how can I rearrange it if I can't-"

"-I guess you wont be then!" Rachel huffed while crossing her arms, pouting in bed while he stood there. Bed rest wasn't really for Rachel and Puck had been more than entertained, watching as she flailed around miserably. She would read then get bored, watch a movie then get bored, even resorting to having Puck entertain her just to keep her from going mad.

"Well fine, but will you at least go down and make sure everything looks safe and in a good spot?" He groaned while nodding, making his way out to follow his masters order.

"Make sure the tables with sharp corners are covered-"

"-because they kill one persons every year-"

"-and that cords and wires are hidden-"

"-God forbid our suicidal infants lay their eyes on those-"

"-and check that no random small objects or trash are on the floor-"

"-because we could step on a piece and be sent flying across the room, our infant being flung out our hands and through the open window where a bird swoops down and retrieves them, flying off into the sky with our little boy or girl." Rachel cocked an eyebrow while he finished his ramble, sitting back and scoffing.

"Boy are you gonna feel like a real ass if that comes true."

"I'm just saying I think you're overreacting."

"Noah please," Rachel sighed, "I can't do a thing. I'm out of control and out of my element, so please just help me relax and do these few important things ok?" Puck felt like an ass for complaining, not realizing how much it had meant to her.

"Ok," he said softly, "I'll be right back."

"Oh and Noah?"

"Yes mama?"

"Thank you sweetie," she smiled.

"Anytime, now give me the monitors and I'll set them up before I go down." Rachel grabbed the box and handed it to Puck, leaning back against the bed while he left. A few moments later she heard static, turning to see the baby monitor by the bed lighting up.

"Testing one two, testing one two, Mama do you copy?" She laughed while he made odd noises and sounds, pretending to be some sort of spy while peering around the door.

"Are we clear?" he asked into the monitor, Rachel watching as he rolled on the ground in front of her bed.

"Clear!" he called, Rachel giggling while he got up and walked to hand her the monitor.

"Works perfectly."

"Noah," Rachel said sweetly, sitting up and motioning him to sit by her, "come talk to me."

"By talk you mean entertain?" he asked smirking, Rachel nodding while he plopped down beside her.

"Alright, what do you want to do? Read more baby books or watch TV, what?"

"No, something fun," she said brightly, Puck grinning devilishly while leaning towards her.

"Noah gross!" she said pulling back, "I mean really?"

"I'm game if you are!" he said standing up, "I mean I know you can't resist this." He began tugging his shirt up while rubbing against Rachel, performing a very awkward and impromptu lap dance.

"Oh my God Noah!" she laughed hysterically, watching as he swung his hips back and forth while removing his belt, "Seriously you look ridiculous!" He stopped moving and folded his belt, lightly hitting her on her thigh before chunking it to the floor.

"Whatever, you just can't handle all I've got," he said while sitting beside her, "Besides, I need to stop before you get too excited and burst into labor." She could only shake her head as he curled up beside her, wrapping his arms around her and attempting to take a much needed nap.

"Noah," she said softly while he nuzzled against her.

"I promise Rach, I'll move the furniture in a little while."

"No," she said while giggling, "no I just wanted to know…are you scared?" She felt him stir beside her, turning over to see him resting on his elbow.

"Why, are you?"

"Well, yeah," she said softly, "I mean things are about to change so much for us."

"Eight months and you just now realize this?" he joked while rubbing her stomach.

"Noah be serious," she said while her voice grew concerned, "I'm really worried about whether or not I can do this."

"Well I'm not," Puck shrugged casually, "and you know why?"

"Why?"

"Cause I've got you." Rachel smiled while he scooted closer, lightly stroking her cheek while he explained.

"Cause even when things are chaotic and unbearable, bordering along the lines of impossible, you're always there to help pull me through. You don't give up on anyone, not even the people who deserve it like douchey, football playing, slushie throwing, screw ups like me." Rachel couldn't help but melt as he patted her stomach and kissed it sweetly.

"So I know that if you can put up with me, two babies? Cake walk for Rachel Ber-Puckerman, Rachel Puckerman."

"That was pretty good," she said while snuggling to him, "even for a douchy screw up, that was good."

"We have our moments," he sighed, squeezing her hand before getting up.

"Where are you going?" she called from the bed.

"To finish moving the furniture around," he answered, "Because I know its important."

"Thank you," she smiled, watching as he winked and disappeared. She rolled over and grabbed the baby book he had made and decided to fill in a little more of the information, a few minutes passing before Rachel heard Puck shout.

"Ok babe, say something into the monitor so I can see if it connected!" Rachel laughed and grabbed the monitor, stopping suddenly when she felt something hot.

"The hell," she murmured, moving her legs apart to find the sheet beneath them soaked.

"Oh my God!" she said when she realized what was happening, "Oh my God! Oh my God!" She grabbed the monitor and began shrieking loudly, panic and fear overwhelming her.

"Whoa! Baby what the hell?" Puck called from downstairs, "Only dogs can hear you, what's wrong?"

"My water broke!" she screamed, frantically sliding her legs off the bed, "My water broke, my water broke! Hurry Noah!" She could hear him charging up the stairs, bolting in the room and flinging himself at her.

"What the-Jesus Christ!" he yelled when he saw the puddle now dripping on the floor, "Is that-is that normal?"

"Yes Noah, because I would know from all the babies I've had before!"

"There's no need for sarcasm!" he snapped, erratically moving around their room and searching for what Rachel didn't know.

"Noah-"

"-the bag, we have to get your bag-"

"-I haven't packed it yet." His face turned red and he threw his hands up, running into the closet hurriedly.

"Of all the things we have done, this is the one thing you forget-"

"-I didn't forget! I was saving it till last-"

"-and to think, I was plugging sockets so infants who can't move wouldn't get electrocuted-"

"-which is important! Noah this isn't the time, please just throw some things in there and lets go!" She heard him rummaging through the closet, finally emerging with an overstuffed bag before grabbing her hand.

"Lets go!"

"Noah, shoes," she said while nodding.

"I have some, thanks-"

"MY SHOES!" she yelled, making him jump a bit at her tone, "and they better match this time."

"Beggers really can't be choosers," he muttered, grabbing her flats and slipping them on, "Ok, now lets go!"

"Keys," she said pointing to the night stand, "you know to crank up your truck." Puck nodded while grabbing them, standing for a moment to make sure he had everything.

"Bag, clothes, cell, shoes, keys," he muttered, slapping his hands together and exiting through the door.

"Noah," Rachel called, "Wife! Wife!"

"On it!" he shouted, walking back into the room and taking her hand, "ok, now lets go!"


	23. Chapter 23

Wow, loved the reviews, thanks again! And yes, that was definitely a reference to Friends! I love that show and when they mentioned it on Glee I died laughing! Anyways, here's the big moment we've waited for! Hope you all enjoy and keep reading and reviewing!

* * *

"Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, you're doing great baby!"

Puck and Rachel were sitting in his truck, her trying not to rip the door handle off while he swerved in and out of traffic.

"Just keep breathing sweetheart, in and out, that's it."

"Are we-whew-almost-Oh my God!-there yet?" Rachel asked hunched over, holding her stomach and trying to remain calm.

"Almost baby, just keep on breathing alright?"

"If you tell me to breathe one more time you never will again," she growled, Puck watching as she dug her nails into the fabric of the seat.

"Nah, its cool, I was gonna replace that anyway," he said as she made a small hole much bigger, " Just rip it all to hell."

"Kind of like what your children are doing right now-JESUS!"

"…fair enough, now bre-I mean inhale and exhale, that's it." He continued speeding down the highway, the last turn to the hospital on his left.

"Alright honey, almost there just- shit!" Puck tried to hit the breaks but he was too late, running over and crushing a squirrel that had darted out into the street.

"The hell? Little son of a bitch!"

"Noah! You just killed an innocent animal!" Rachel cried.

"And you're about to give life to two new ones, it's a surplus sweetie!" He continued on until he saw the entrance sign, sliding in on three wheels and taking over a handicap spot.

"Noah we don't have a parking sign!"

"Its cool baby, I'll move it later now come on!" He rushed to her door and flung it open, helping her out and slamming it shut.

"The bag, grab the bag Noah."

"I've got it, get inside!" Rachel and Puck wobbled through the doors, Puck shouting for a nurse while Rachel clawed at his hand.

"I need a nurse-easy baby, easy!-and a wheelchair please!" A small petite woman came behind Rachel and helped lower her into the chair, pushing her to the elevator while Puck was handed paperwork.

"Ma'am," he said sweetly before the doors closed, "can I get an icepack stat?"

* * *

"How we doing sweetheart?"

Rachel was honing in on her third hour, having endured as many contractions as she could take. The doctors had told her she was only five centimeters dilated, half way there but still not ready for delivery.

"Can't we just push her open or something?" Puck had asked, trying frantically to ease his wife's pain anyway he could.

"Oh my God why?" Rachel was now howling from her bed, gripping the sides and pushing up.

"Do you need anything?" he asked, walking over and pushing her hair out of her eyes.

"Yes, promise me that we'll never again have children. Sex for that matter," she said eyeing him.

"Sweetie don't put that out there, karma might come around and knock you down."

"I wish it'd knock you out," she breathed, clenching her hands together as another contraction hit.

"Well now I'm never knocking you up, so ha!" Rachel flashed him another evil glare and Puck took it as his cue to stop talking, turning to watch the monitor as it recorded her contraction.

"Oh, oh, there it goes!" he said while pointing, "It's kinda like a rollercoaster you know, its like "woo" and then "whoa!" and then "WHOA!" He felt Rachel tugging on the back of his shirt, groaning in pain and muttering something unpleasant about him and an electrical fence.

"I can't wait for our children to be born with that sentiment ringing in their ears," he said as he offered her his hand.

"Noah just shut up, ok? Just give me your hands, stop moving your mouth, and help me get things going down there!"

"Baby sex is what got us here, clearly this is no time for that." She was about to yell at him when the door opened, the tiny nurse from before coming in.

"So, I've contacted Dr. Marilyn-"

"-thank God!," Rachel said while slinging Puck's hand back to him, "Bring her to me and take him away, please, please!"

"Well that's the thing, Dr. Marilyn is just getting back into town. She still at the airport so she's going to be delayed a bit, but I promise that if she isn't here then we'll have our on call doctor here right away ok?"

"No, no!" Rachel shouted, "No I need her, I have to have Dr. Marilyn! She knows all about me and my history! She's the only person who I've ever trusted to examine me!"

"And you say I'm the father," Puck muttered.

"Please, she has to get here! Can't we send a car for her or something?"

"Maybe chopper her in?" Puck suggested.

"Please, I have to have my doctor!" The nurse nodded and left, agreeing to call again and see what they could do.

"I think you handled that very nicely mama," Puck said while winking, "Thanks for the shout out there about being examined."

"Shut it Noah," she said while clenching her legs together, holding her breath as she gripped her bed.

"What are you doing?" Puck asked, stifling a laugh as he watched her.

"I'm holding them in, making sure I don't dilate anymore until Dr. Marilyn is here."

"Rachel I'm no doctor but that seems highly unlikely-"

"-you're right, you're not a doctor." Puck threw his hands up, pulling a chair up to her bed and resting beside her, trying to think of how he could help.

"I need a hair tie," she said once her contraction calmed down, "Hand me the bag and I'll see if one is in there." Puck obliged, handing her the overnight bag and watching as she rifled through.

"Noah…the hell did you pack?" she asked in confusion, pulling out a pair of his swim trunks with sombreros on them.

"Clearly this is no time for a fiesta," he said as he tugged them away, watching as she began unloading the bag.

"One flip flop, a belt, two tank tops and your old bandana? That's what you packed in my overnight bag?" Puck remained silent as she stared angrily, trying to think of a way to wiggle himself out of his current situation.

"Bandana," he said suddenly, grabbing it out of her hands and pulling her hair back, "It'll hold your hair back if I tie it tight enough."

"Noah I will not look like a hillbilly while giving birth!" she snapped.

"Fine, I'll roll it up into a headband and then tie it, deal?" Rachel huffed, Puck twisting it into his hands before pulling her hair back.

"There, beautiful." Rachel mumbled a thanks before laying back, watching the monitor to prepare for her next contraction.

"Sweetie are you sure you wanna do this, you know, that way," Puck said while pointing between her legs, "I mean cesareans are quick and have drugs."

"Noah you can't just change your mind," she said laying back, "it doesn't work like that." The two continued sitting there, Rachel enduring her contractions while Puck offered his unfaltering support. After three more hours and the arrival of Dr. Marilyn, Rachel was told she was ready.

"Seriously? Its time?" she asked frantically.

"Yes ma'am, you're ten centimeters dilated and one hundred percent effaced."

"Wait, what's wrong with her face?"

"Nothing Noah, its time!" Dr. Marilyn began to prep while a nurse helped put Rachel's feet in stirrups, Puck humming the Transformers theme song in his head as he waited.

"Now Rachel I need you to listen to everything I say, alright? Twins vaginally can get tricky and there are a lot of complications we could face, so I need you to do exactly what I say, got it?" Rachel gripped Puck's hand harder than she had all day, not in pain but fear.

"Everything will be alright, right?" she asked in a small voice, "Everything will be perfect."

"Of course sweetie! Our babies are fine, they're just waiting to come ok?" Rachel nodded while sitting up, Puck having a realization as he pulled her close.

"Take the moment in mama, cause after this its not just you and me anymore." Rachel smiled and quickly kissed him, feeling a sharp and more intense pain than she had.

"Holy crap! Ah, Noah!"

"Rachel you're crowning," Dr. Marilyn called, "I can see the very top of the first baby's head ok? Now I need you to start pushing." Rachel screamed out while Puck looked down, seeing that the doctor was right.

"Oh my God Rachel there's a head! There's a head! We have a head!" Rachel nodded as she winced, pulling on Puck and trying to stay focused, "And it's a beautiful head! And there's so much hair!"

"Rachel make sure you breathe, keep breathing ok?" Rachel leaned back and exhaled, shaking her head and letting go Puck's hand.

"I had a change of heart, I want an epidural." She leaned up and pointed to her back, motioning for them to put one in.

"Do you guys keep them on tap or something?" Puck asked, wanting Rachel to have anything she wanted.

"Rachel you can't have an epidural now, you're crowning now its too late."

"No, no, please, I wont tell my dad's I gave in, just please put me out-"

"-a tranquilizer gun or something? One of those things they use on wild beasts?"

"I'm sorry Rachel we don't have time, I need you to push sweetie, come on!" Rachel mustered up as much strength as she could, shouting loudly as she pushed again.

"Come on baby, you can do this!" Puck encouraged, holding her hand as he watched the upper torso become visible.

"Rachel you're doing it, you're doing so good! Come on one more push and we'll have a whole human!" Rachel buried down her weight and yelled, pushing a final push and delivering their first twin. Puck heard a wail and turned to see Dr. Marilyn holding up his son, covered in God knows what and lightly crying.

"We've got our little boy out," Dr. Marilyn cooed, passing him to the nurse so he could be cleaned, "now let's work on that little girl." Puck was torn between watching his son and helping his wife, his head turning back and forth between the two.

"Come on Rachel, I need you to give me another push because I already see the head." Rachel fell back against the bed, exhausted and out of breath.

"Tell her to give me a minute, I just need one minute," she moaned, turning to look at her son on the scale.

"He's beautiful," Puck said as he wiped a tear from his eye, "and if you push right now we'll get our daughter out and have more time to spend with both. Come on babe, you can do this." Rachel nodded pulling herself up and preparing to push.

"One-"

"-two-"

"THREE!"

* * *

Josiah Emory rested peacefully in his mother's arms while Mckenzie Marie gently kicked in cooed against her fathers chest. Both babies were healthy, each weighing in a little over six pounds, while their little boy was an inch longer. As Puck slowly drifted off to sleep, he felt a tiny nudge on his shoulder, looking up to see Rachel smiling sleepily while grabbing his hand.

"Thank you Noah."

"Love you mama."


	24. Chapter 24

**Thanks again for all the wonderful people who read and left me amazing reviews! I really enjoyed writing this and I'm glad you all loved reading it! I'm debating on whether I want to do a second part that shows Rachel and Puck trying to keep up as the twins get older, but I'm not sure yet. Let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy the final chapter!**

* * *

"Noah. Noah! Wake up Noah!"

Puck groaned as he opened his eyes, rolling over to see Rachel lightly shaking him.

"Mckenzie's crying and I'm feeding Josiah, so I need you to check on her ok?" Puck nodded as he got up, seeing the red flashing lights on the baby monitor through his blurry vision.

"Alright, I'm on it," he said sleepily, gently tugging at his son's foot before heading down the hall.

"Keeeenzzzzzie," Puck called as he walked into the nursery, seeing a tiny pair of pink socks moving through the cradle bars, "What's wrong with daddy's girl?" He gently picked her up and softly sang to her, trying his best to ease her cries.

"It's alright sweetie, come on." He rubbed her back while he laid the tiny infant against him, watching as she nestled herself in his chest. Mckenzie, or wiggles as he still called her, had been every bit of himself. From her pouty lips and adorable nose to the constant kicking and screaming she did, their daughter had been a spitting image of her father.

"Let's go see mama, you wanna see mama?" he cooed, walking slowly back to his bed and crawling in lightly so Rachel could feed their daughter.

"Is she alright?" Rachel asked, peeking over to watch as Puck rocked her back and forth.

"Of course, but she knows its time to feed," he answered, Rachel laughing as she wiped off Josiah's mouth.

"Alright, well he's had enough of me so I'll trade you." Rachel gently placed their son in Puck's lap as he slid Mckenzie in her arms, watching as she kicked around in frustration.

"Better whip that boob out fast mama, you know she breathes fire when she has to wait." He looked down at his baby boy, watching as he rested calmly. Josiah was a much more peaceful baby, rarely crying and always looking around and smiling. Rachel had claimed he had totally taken after her, seeing as his startling blue eyes had already begun turning to a dark shade of brown.

"Yeah I know, you're just so impatient sometimes aren't you?" she cooed while adjusting the infant, Puck watching in fascination as she began to breastfeed.

"Noah!" she said while smacking him, moving the blanket around their daughter to hide herself.

"What? Like I've never done that before," he muttered, receiving another smack on his arm.

"You are not setting a good example here," he said while motioning between the twins, "Their gonna grow up with emotional issues if you keep subjecting me to such abuse."

"They have your genes, emotional issues are the least of my worries," Rachel murmured while turning back to Mckenzie and cooing.

"Its ok son, I promise daddy will never let her near the wire coat hangers ok? Ok?" He continued to talk to his little boy, trying to lull him back to sleep as Rachel fed their daughter.

It had been a month since they were born, Rachel and Puck having to adjust everything in their lives. Despite the chaos and noise, vomit and sleepless nights, Puck and Rachel had become closer than ever, her learning to trust him more while he had helped her in every way he could.

"I'm thinking about another one," Puck said as he settled in, Josiah resting peacefully on his chest.

"You can't be serious," Rachel moaned, "we barely get through the day with these two!"

"But we get through it don't we?"

"Yes, you're right," she smiled, trying to button her shirt back while holding onto the baby.

"Here, let me help," Puck said softly, leaning over and gently snapping her shirt back.

"And you didn't even try to feel me up," Rachel said in shock, Puck rolling his eyes while laying back beside his son.

"'Cause I'm mature," he mumbled, "and I'm setting an example here." They continued to rest with their twins, Puck humming while Rachel rubbed their backs.

"You know the doctor said we should try to keep them in their cribs," Rachel whispered, "Sleeping with us could become a habit."

"I know, I know," Puck grumbled, "but can't they just stay for one more night, please?" Rachel stifled a laugh as he begged like a child, reminding her that despite his new parenting role, Rachel still had three children to look after.

"I guess so," she sighed, rolling over and flicking off the light.

"Goodnight Noah."

"Night mama…and babies."


	25. Author's Note

**Hi everyone! So, I've started working on the sequel to "Tossing Pennies in a Wishing Well." I'm really excited and I know you guys will love it! Its called, "The Hardest Part," and every chapter will either be a milestone or major event, chronicling the twins into adulthood. I hope to get it out by Tuesday/Wednesday, so be on the lookout! Thanks for everyone who kept the alerts and waited patiently, I know you'll enjoy and I can't wait for you to read the next chapter!**

**Thank you all once again, your constant reviews and feedback was amazing! Love you all!**


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